


The School of Hard Knocks

by alittlegreenrosetta



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Origin Story, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:26:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlegreenrosetta/pseuds/alittlegreenrosetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harleen Quinzel never got that gymnastics scholarship and had to work her way through college. That one small change leads to her not getting into grad school. Angry at the rejection from the doctoral programs she's applied to she decides to take advantage of the fact that she lives in Gotham and go to work for one of the criminally insane villains that terrorize the city. Once she writes a tell all book about her boss she's sure she'll get into any grad school she wants. The problem is that the only lunatic hiring at the moment is the most dangerous of all, the Joker. With big risks come big rewards, if she doesn't lose her mind or her heart first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've sort of smashed a couple of different versions of Harley together and put my own spin on it, I hope you like it as much as I do!

When she heard the final slam of the narrow metal mailboxes in the hallway, Harleen Quinzel opened her apartment door and retrieved her mail from the box with her name on it. As expected, the letter she was waiting for was there. She looked down at it and felt a clench of anxiety grab her stomach. This was it. The last graduate program she had applied to. All the other letters had been rejections, this was her last chance. She walked back into her apartment, she didn’t want to be standing out in the hall when she read the letter that would decide her destiny. She took a deep breath and slid a finger along the paper seam. She looked at the letter. “Thank you for your interest.” She hadn’t gotten in. She felt tears roll down her cheeks but she felt numb inside. She wadded the paper up and threw it across the room. She had gone from numb to angry very quickly. It wasn’t fair. She had a brilliant mind for working with the criminally insane. One of her professors had even told her so. It hadn’t been enough. Her GPA hadn’t been that great. It wasn’t her fault she had to work her way through school and didn’t have the time to lower her credit load and focus carefully on each class. And it wasn’t her fault it had taken her three attempts to get the required C or better in calculus. Calculus had nothing to do with treating the mentally ill, it was a stupid requirement.

When she stopped raging at the unfairness of life she pulled a pint of ice cream out of the freezer and sat down on the sofa preparing to eat the entire thing in one go. She would drown her sorrows in chocolate and peanut butter. What was she going to do now? She was born to be a psychologist at Arkham Asylum. In fact she was born to run the place. If they put her in charge that revolving door program they seemed to have would be a thing of the past. Without a higher degree what could she do? Social work? Waste her life as a case manager for some schizophrenic who was arrested for being a public nuisance? She was meant to be working with people like Jonathan Crane, Harvey Dent, Pamela Isley. She was meant for the big time, not small people with small problems. Unfortunately every psychology program with a strong enough emphasis in criminal psychology had passed her up for what they considered to be better candidates. People who could do calculus. What a joke!

She was two thirds of the way through her ice cream when inspiration struck her. She lived in Gotham. The criminally insane were all around her. Thanks to Arkham’s inability to contain them effectively there were always insane criminals escaping and wreaking havoc on the city. Maybe if she could find a way to come in contact with one of them she could get enough material about them to write a paper, a paper that could be her ticket to getting into one of the schools that had previously rejected her. Hell maybe a book if she got enough material, she could have her choice of schools then. It was a crazy idea but Harleen was a risk taker, she’d had to be to get to where she was. She came from a poor family whose biggest dreams for her were that she’d marry a guy with a job and maybe find some work at the local big box store herself. She had always wanted more and she was always willing to do whatever it took to get it.

Her willingness to do whatever it took was what led to her current job that had helped her work her way through school. As a dancer at the Grin and Bare It she was able to pay her tuition and afford a small apartment off campus. She also came into contact with a lot of unsavory criminal types there, she was good at handling that sort of guy. Her natural instinct for how to deal with the criminally insane also helped her navigate the world of their henchmen who came to the club to blow the money they made on lap dances and overpriced beer. She had a lot of regulars, guys who all thought they were special to her. She knew at least a couple of them worked regularly as henchmen and could maybe help her figure out what her next move should be if she wanted to get close to some of the criminal elite of Gotham City.

It took a few shifts before she saw Mickey in the club. Mickey had a real tragic thing for Harleen. Tragic because he was clearly head over heels for her and he had no chance whatsoever with her even if he weren’t a trick. She suspected she took in more than half of every dollar the poor guy made. That didn’t stop her from doing her job but there was a part of her that knew she could take him for much more if she wanted and she had resisted that temptation so far. Today she was going to take him for some information. Mickey worked pretty regularly for Oswald Cobblepot and she figured he’d know what was happening with most of the criminals in Gotham at the moment. If she was lucky it wouldn’t cost her more than a couple of well-placed grinds during his next lap dance.

“You’re looking even more beautiful than usual tonight, Heaven!” Mickey exclaimed when she came off the stage and headed toward his table. It was true, she put in a little extra effort and thrown on an extra handful of body glitter. It didn’t take much to impress drunks who spent all their money staring at tits they weren’t allowed to touch. Heaven was Harleen’s club name. It wasn’t her choice by a mile but it had been assigned to her when she was hired. All the names were ridiculous stereotypical stripper names. She felt lucky she hadn’t been stuck with Bambi or Candy. Though her name did require the occasional angel costume at least she had the blond hair and blue eyes to suit the theming.

“Thanks, Mick. I got dressed up just for you, I had a feeling I’d be seeing you. Do you want a dance?” She knew the answer already. When Mickey was in the club she rarely had time away from him unless she was onstage. She could see he had already ordered her a drink, which he always did when she came off stage. He was a considerate guy and he wasn’t hideous but you know, it’s hard to respect a guy when all his hard earned money ended up tucked in your G-string. When the next song started she worked her way through Mickey’s first lap dance of the evening while they made small talk. Most the guys who came in here wanted someone to listen to the boring little moments of their uninspiring lives. Preferably someone with blond hair and big tits but mostly it was the listening they needed. This was the part of being a stripper she excelled at. Her psychology degree at work, how gratifying. It was hard not to be bitter but that would all change soon.

“So, Mickey, I’ve got a friend looking for some work, wanting to get started with one of the big outfits. Know anything that’s available?” Harleen asked him sweetly, letting him know that this was a favor and he’d be rewarded.

“This isn’t for a boyfriend is it? I don’t want to help some guy get rich and lure you away.” He asked like he was teasing but she knew the answer he expected.

“Of course not, you know I don’t have anybody. Talking to you is the only break I get from work and school.” Mickey knew she was a student working her way through school when they met, she never got specific about what or where she was studying and didn’t let him know she had graduated. The less he really knew about her the better. He might be a nice guy but he was a criminal.

“Well that’s ok then. Actually there is something he could do, if he’s got enormous balls or a death wish. The Joker is looking for a new crew. He just got out of Arkham again and I think all his previous guys are pretty much dead. He’s pulling in a lot of help all at once so he’d probably be pretty open to taking in someone just starting out.” He let out a groan as Harleen bent over, rewarding him with a real nice view as a thank you.

“The Joker, huh? That does sound pretty dangerous but I’ll let him know. If you can give me whatever details you have then I’d be happy to treat you to a little time in the VIP room.” A dance in the VIP room only cost her a little time but Mickey may have just made her fortune. The Joker. That would be incredibly dangerous but the reward from writing about him would be beyond anything she had ever imagined. If she was the first person to get any real information on him, well it wouldn’t just get her into grad school, she would become a legend in criminal psychology before she even had her Ph.D. If she lived through it. The Joker was the most feared person in Gotham for a reason. Still she felt something click in her mind at the idea of going to work for him. Like something right had just fallen into place.

“That sounds great, just don’t make a lot of future plans with that friend of yours. The Joker’s employee retirement plan is an early and violent death.” Mickey wrote something on a scrap of paper and tucked it into the string across her hip. She pulled it out and looked at the time and address on it, memorizing them in case the paper should get misplaced during her shift.

“That’s great, Mick. C’mon, let’s go to the VIP room, you deserve a trip to Heaven for the help.” “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails came on, if there was anything she was more tired of dancing to than Closer she didn’t know what it was. Maybe Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”? Oh well, all in a day’s work.

The next evening she was looking over her wardrobe trying to decide what the right thing for a henchgirl to wear would be. She wasn’t even sure there was such a thing as a henchgirl. Henchwoman? Henchperson? She decided on henchperson, it was egalitarian and less awkward to say. Whatever word you used she wasn’t sure any of the villains of Gotham ever hired women. She’d just have to be persuasive. She could handle herself pretty well. She lived in the most dangerous city in the country and she worked as a stripper. If you didn’t learn some effective self-defense techniques you weren’t going to last long. She owned a gun and could shoot with decent accuracy and she had plenty of experience with more direct combat. It seemed that rarely did a day go by where she wasn’t having to defend herself from some jerk who thought her beautiful face and well-proportioned body were an open invitation to do what he liked. She had more trouble with the scum that wandered the streets of Gotham than with her customers at the Grin and Bare It.

She finally decided to wear something that she could move easily in and that kept her body well covered. If she were trying to work for someone else she might make sure to flash some cleavage but the Joker wasn’t really ever seen with women. Harvey Dent usually walked around with two at a time but the Joker, if he had a love life it was a mystery to everyone. Plus he was sort of a flashy dresser, she figured there was a good chance he didn’t even like women. Keeping things modest seemed like the best plan. She wore tight fitting black pants with a good amount of stretch and a red sweater that kept her skin covered but flattered her shape. If he was interested in girls maybe it would make him want to see more and keep her around. She didn’t know what the process for choosing henchmen was like but if she had to fight she’d do ok in this outfit and it gave her enough freedom of movement to show off some of her more specialized skills. She assumed that anyone applying for this job would be armed so she put her own gun in the holster she wore to and from work, it connected to the center of her bra and kept her gun concealed between her ample breasts. It wasn’t the fastest place to draw from but it was subtle when walking around the streets of Gotham without a concealed weapon license. The few times she’d had to draw her weapon she found the distraction of her lifting her shirt and exposing the smooth ivory skin of her stomach had given her a bigger advantage than anything else could. Of course she was used to dealing with rapist scumbags, who knew what sort of scumbags she’d be encountering tonight. She threw on black combat boots and a black leather jacket before she left. When she was putting on her jacket her long blond hair swung in front of her face. She grabbed some hair ties and quickly put her hair into high pigtails. Maybe not the best fighting hairstyle but she was going to be late and it would at least keep her hair out of her face.

She drove to the address which turned out to be an old dilapidated warehouse by the docks. Oh good, easy corpse disposal for anyone who didn’t make the team, Harleen assumed. Her car was old and not one she was particularly worried about anyone stealing but she took what little bit of cash she had with her and tucked it into her bra. She was pretty used to storing cash in there at work. She took a deep breath and tried to psych herself up for what could be the last and most dangerous moment of her life. There were a few guys in dark hoodies shuffling into the building she was headed to; that helped her feel more confident that she was in the right place. Either way she was probably in for a rough night.

She could hear the Joker talking when she walked in, giving his recruitment speech she imagined or maybe just picking out thugs at random, she didn’t know how this sort of things worked. When she finally came close enough to see him she was surprised by his appearance. She’d seen him on the news before but it was always action shots where you could only get a small sense of what the man really looked like and no real idea of the presence he had. He was extremely tall and extremely thin, more than he appeared on TV. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen anyone that tall and thin but now that she had she liked it, something about his lanky form made her body react pleasantly. That actually put her at ease a bit. It shouldn’t have, she shouldn’t be at ease around this insane clown but she needed to be to pull off her plan and if liking the way he looked helped, she was happy for it. She was still quite a distance from the Joker and the crowd of men around her when someone announced her presence with a wolf whistle. The Joker looked toward the back of the room and stared at her, she swallowed the tight knot that had formed in her throat when his attention fell on her.

“Well, well, who hired the stripper? It was very thoughtful of you but I do prefer it when they jump out of a giant cake, for future reference.” The Joker announced with a laugh. She briefly wondered if he knew who she was but then decided that he’d just made an obvious joke based on her appearance and put the idea out of her mind. What to say next? She certainly couldn’t deny being a stripper but you only got one chance at a first impression.

“I don’t see a pole anywhere, should I just wrap myself around you, Slim?” She had just offered to wrap herself around the Joker and had called him Slim. Her hands started trembling but she held her head high and tried not to show the fear she felt.

“Show the lady out, Moe.” The Joker said to the man next to him after giving her a dismissive look. Apparently he hadn’t been impressed with her joke. Or maybe he liked to be the only one who made them.

“No thanks, Moe, I’d rather stay.” She warned him.

Harleen was far enough back from the crowd that she had time to react to the man coming toward her. In fact she had enough time and space to execute two front handsprings and throw in a twist before landing her feet on Moe’s chest and knocking him onto his ass. Might as well pull out the showstopper, she obviously wasn’t going to get another chance to show the Joker what she could do. She assumed he’d be at least a little impressed, how many gymnasts walked through his door? It seemed to have been enough for him to turn his attention back to her.

“Why are you here?” He asked, his voice making it clear that her answer had better be good or she’d be dead.

“A girl’s gotta get her kicks somehow.” She tried to sound flippant rather than terrified.

“You’re here for kicks?” Did nothing impress this guy?

“Well that and money. You do pay in money right? It’s not cream pies and whoopee cushions is it?” Now she was sort of starting to enjoy herself. If the Joker was going to kill her she might as well go out with a bang rather than a whimper.

“Oh, it’s money. If you live long enough to collect. You do anything else besides flip around?”

“I’m a decent shot, I can handle myself in a fight and I’m probably smarter than all the rest of these guys put together.”

“We don’t generally hire for intelligence. Or looks.” Gee, he’d noticed what she looked like, that was interesting.

“And how’s that working out for you so far?” She put her hand on her hip and stood there waiting while he thought over what to do with her.

“What’s your name?” He finally spoke again after a delay of a couple of minutes. She had him now and just to be sure, she’d put a great deal of thought into the name she chose. She stuck her hand out to shake his, he just stared at her.

“Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!”


	2. Chapter 2

He’d been immediately suspicious of her. Shapely blondes with big blue eyes and perfect features didn’t exactly line up for a chance to be a henchgirl for him or anyone. Henchperson. She had insisted that’s what she be called. Harleen Quinzel is what she was really called. The Joker wasn’t sure if she was trying to deceive him or just unburden herself of a truly terrible name when she introduced herself as Harley Quinn. It hadn’t taken long for him to find out who she really was and deception seemed to be her goal. She was a psychology student who had failed to be accepted into any of the graduate programs she’d applied to. He could only assume that she was risking her life working for him in a desperate attempt to prove herself to the world of psychiatry. He should kill her for that alone but he sort of liked the spirit it showed. Also he wanted to see what she’d do, what she thought she could do to figure him out when no one else had been able to so far.

In addition to finding out about her scholastic past, the Joker found out she had worked her way through school by dancing at the Grin and Bare It. He was actually less surprised by that then the fact that she was a psychology student. He hadn’t made a great study of strippers but she certainly looked equipped to do the job well. He’d met with various criminal low-lifes at the club she worked in, for a moment he searched his mind trying to remember if he’d ever witnessed her bumping and grinding her way toward her tuition. He couldn’t recall having seen her and there was something about her that made him think he would have remembered it. Though what that something was he couldn’t quite put his finger on. She was objectively beautiful but that wasn’t something that generally appealed to him. And there was definitely something appealing about her.

She had moved into the hideout the next day after he accepted her as part of his crew. They were currently residing in an empty old motel just outside of Gotham. The first surprising thing Harley had done was choose the room next to his. All the other henches had been in a race to see who could get the furthest away from him but she had very purposefully sought out the one next door. He wasn’t sure if she somehow thought by being near him she’d be able to make a better study of his mind or if it was actually an attempt to avoid being near the rest of the crew. The first night he’d heard her fight off no less than three different guys who tried to fuck her. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if one of them had gotten the upper hand on her. Sit in his room and listen to her getting raped? That didn’t sit right with him but then neither did rescuing her. Fortunately there’d been no need to do anything, she had taken care of herself. The last guy got a bullet in his leg for his trouble and after that it seemed like the guys mostly left her alone, at least in her room.

Out in the common rooms it was a different story. It had been interesting to watch the evolution of the gang’s reaction to Harley over the last two weeks. On day one there were cat calls, accidental bumps against her and flat out groping. And then one by one the gang formed itself into two factions. Harley’s boys and the others. Harley’s time as a stripper had clearly trained her well in wrapping men around her little finger. She had a knack for finding the ones that just needed a smile and maybe the occasional compliment from a pretty girl to get them in line and that’s exactly what she had done. Still his crew was full of the real scum of Gotham. Some guys had no use for a woman outside of her orifices. Those guys she could identify too and she not only avoided them well but turned her boys against them. In no time Harley’s boys became a sort of gang within the gang and Harley somehow had become a sort of second in command. This would have annoyed him except for the way she went about doing that job. Her every effort seemed not to be in pursuit of power for herself but rather to reflect his power back at him. And she kept the annoyances of everyday goon life from affecting him. It was the smoothest the Joker’s gang had ever run and the mortality rate for Harley’s boys was surprisingly low. The guys who didn’t respect Harley died at an incredibly high rate. Somehow whenever the Joker was irritated and just needed to put a bullet in some random hench’s brain he always seemed to find that whoever was giving Harley the most trouble was suddenly right in front of him. If he didn’t know better he’d think she could read his moods well enough to arrange for the death of her enemies but that seemed pretty unlikely.

So he’d watched Harley settle into her new life over the first couple of weeks and he kept waiting for the annoying questions about his past to start up but they never did. No wonder she hadn’t gotten into grad school, she didn’t seem very good at analyzing crazy people. She did make a decent criminal though. She had been right that first night, she was smarter than the rest of his goons and she was good at anticipating what he wanted. He hated to be too complimentary to his first “henchperson” but whether it was at the hideout or out on a job everything just went more smoothly with her around. He could almost forgive her for coming to work for him with the purpose of trying to learn what made him tick. She just had a couple of more trials to pass first. So far on their jobs there were two things she hadn’t had to face. She had yet to encounter Batman and she had never killed anyone. One of those things was going to change tonight. It was unlikely Batman would show up but she wasn’t coming back to the hideout tonight if she didn’t kill when he ordered her to. It was a great way to see just how committed to this little plan of hers she was.

He knew that if he asked her to kill a criminal she would. He’d seen her around the guys enough to know that was in her, the ability to kill someone she perceived as evil. Hell almost anyone would kill someone like that. Harley needed to show him that she could kill an average citizen. An “innocent”, as though there were such a thing. So he’d arranged a little home invasion for the night. They were going to harass and kill a doctor from Arkham Asylum and his wife. The man had made it on to the Joker’s revenge list during his most recent stay at the asylum. He was an older doctor who’d apparently learned all he knew about psychology sometime in the 1940’s because his approach to treating the Joker had been all electroshock therapy all the time. He could live with the pain, it was the erasure of his memories he hated and the dopey agreeable mindset it left him with for the first day or two after the shock to his brain. Chances were that Bats would eventually put him back in Arkham and this guy couldn’t be there when he did. So they were going on a brief murder spree and Harley was going to get a chance to prove herself.

Since they were going to be killing the wife in the home and taking the doctor back to the hideout the Joker kept their gang small. Harley of course and a few guys from the group of thugs she felt comfortable with. He didn’t discuss what they were going to do with any of his henches, not even his henchperson. They just piled into a couple of cars and drove to the address the Joker gave them. He watched Harley in the car, she was sitting in the backseat next to him. As with her choice of rooms she was always quick to sit near him if she could. He almost felt insulted by her interest in being near him. Was he not as terrifying as he used to be? Everyone else still seemed just as afraid of him as ever, it must have been something about Harley that was different. Maybe she liked being near someone who wasn’t constantly eye fucking her. Most guys probably never even saw the girl’s face, raising their eyes past her tits was a greater challenge than most men could handle. The Joker was not most men.

“Harley and I are going in, everyone else will keep watch and only come in if I call for you. This should be quick and easy.” The Joker instructed as they all gathered in the driveway of the suburban home that belonged to Dr. Shocks-a-lot.

“Are you sure, Boss? Don’t you want some of us boys to go in and help out?” Some ugly goon asked. Hank, maybe? The Joker pushed his gun against the goon’s forehead.

“Did I seem unsure when I gave out the instructions?” He asked while watching the henchman start shaking.

“No, Boss! We stay out here, I got it now.” The goon backed away and the Joker lowered his gun.

He looked over at Harley and she was just watching him quietly. She didn’t question his orders, she never did but she didn’t look as enthusiastic about following them as she usually did.

“Problem, Harley?” He asked.

“No, Boss. No problem. Whatever you say goes.” She replied and put a nervous smile on her face. At least someone understood how things worked around here.

It was the middle of the night and the house was dark and quiet. The Joker had contemplated how best to encourage Harley to kill for him. He was certain that the doctor had an alarm system and rather than disarm it he decided to let it create a sense of urgency for her. This part of Gotham had a police response time of about twenty minutes. In any other city it would have been half that but Gotham’s cops were loath to do their jobs. It was almost as though they were on the payroll of every criminal in town, which come to think of it they probably were. So they would have a solid fifteen minutes before they needed to get out of here. The Joker planned to take the doctor back to the hideout to work him over for a while. You didn’t piss off the Joker and die quick. His wife would need to die here and Harley was going to be the one to do it.

Getting through the front door was easy and the alarm sounded instantly. He knew there would be no neighbors poking their heads in to check on the noise, that’s what the four goons outside were for. He pulled Harley up the stairs behind him to where he assumed the couple’s bedroom would be. They didn’t have to take the time to search out the correct room because as they reached the upstairs landing the good doctor was exiting a room while pulling his robe on. Off to check the house for prowlers, what a brave and upstanding citizen.

“Who’s there?” The doc cried out trying to sound threatening while he flipped on a light. Seeing who was standing in his home he immediately looked terrified. “Oh, god, no! Leave now and I won’t tell the police you were here.”

The Joker started cackling with laughter. He took a couple of long steps over to where the doctor was and had knocked him unconscious before the man could say another word. His wife decided to venture out, foolishly. She screamed when she saw her husband and the Joker started laughing louder. This whole night was going just great, these people were practically walking up to him and begging to die. He looked over at Harley. She had her gun trained on the woman standing near him. Her face looked worried, not fierce. He thought for a moment she almost looked protective of him. If the doc’s wife had attacked him he was almost certain Harley would shoot her immediately. Since that wasn’t happening it was time to push events to their natural and inevitable conclusion. He walked over to Harley and stood next to her.

“Shoot her Harley.” He commanded. He saw her gun start to shake a little. She didn’t take her eyes off the woman across from her but she wasn’t pulling the trigger either. The doctor’s wife was crying and begging for her life but that was such a common sound in his life it barely even registered in the Joker’s mind.

“Harley, did you hear me?” He asked gently.

“Yeah, Boss. I heard you.” Her voice was weak and unsteady. The way he saw it he had two choices. One was to kill both the doctor’s wife and Harley himself. The other was to help Harley jump over this little imaginary line in the sand of morality. He didn’t give it any thought but came closer to Harley and put his gun away. He put his arm around her and leaned his head close to hers.

“Kill her for _me_ , Harley.” He purred into her ear. He felt a shudder pass through Harley’s body, fear he assumed, and then heard the loud bang of her gun going off. The body of the doctor’s wife hit the floor and Harley faltered a little on her feet. He still had his arm around her and held her steady while she regained control of herself. It only took her a moment though she looked pale when he pulled away from her and walked back over to the where the doctor laid unconscious on the ground.

“Help me with his feet.”

She put her gun away and did as he asked. It only took them a few minutes to get him down the stairs and into the trunk of one of the cars. The rest of the henchmen were standing around keeping watch and the body of a man who must have come around asking questions was visible under some bushes. Done with their job and ready to head back to the hideout the Joker looked over at Harley. She was quiet, pale and her eyes looked sort of far away. Something occurred to him. He knew this was Harley’s first time killing but he hadn’t thought about the fact that she was probably the first person who worked for him who was not already experienced at murder and other violent crimes. He didn’t draw in the better class of criminal for his crew. He couldn’t remember his first time killing but he felt like he was going to remember Harley’s. He sort of felt responsible for making sure she liked her memory of this night.

“You four take the doctor back to the hideout and get him set up for me. Harley and I are taking the other car.” He instructed his henchmen.

Harley looked up at him, curiosity visible in her face but she didn’t question his orders. When she saw he was planning to drive she got in on the passenger side. They drove in silence until he stopped the car at a coffee shop.

“Get two hot chocolates. Oh and get extra marshmallows.” He told Harley while handing her some money. She stared at him for a few seconds but then seemed to remember that her boss had just given her an order and got out of the car without a word.

When she returned to the car with the two drinks in a tray she handed it over to him. He took one of the drinks and handed the other to her. She looked surprised but smiled at him.

“Thanks, Mr. J.” She said as she blew on her hot chocolate. Her eyes got large and she looked over at him with fear evident on her face.

“What was that you called me, Harley?” He wasn’t angry, just curious.

“Sorry, Boss. It’s sort of what I call you in my head. Mr. J. I’ll be more careful.” She promised him quickly.

“No, that’s ok. I think I like it. You can call me that if you like.” She beamed a big smile at him. He couldn’t help but smile back at her. She looked back down at her drink. Her cheeks were a little red. Had he embarrassed her somehow?

“Mr. J? Are you mad at me about earlier? You don’t seem mad but I’ve never hesitated to do what you told me before. I’m sorry that I did. I’ve never killed anyone before.” She looked away like she was embarrassed to confess to such a thing.

“I’m not mad. You did what I asked. I was fairly certain it would be your first kill. Why do you think I had you go in alone with me?”

He took a drink and watched as she poked at her marshmallows with her finger. There were two large square hand cut style marshmallows floating around in the cocoa. She fished one out and raised it to her mouth. Her pink lips parted slightly and her shiny tongue darted out to lick the dripping cocoa off the fat white confection. It was the most obscene sight he could remember having seen in a long time and he nearly choked on his hot chocolate.

“Are you ok, Mr. J?” She asked with concern in her voice.

“Sure, I’m fine.”

Was he? For just a second there he’d felt something for his henchperson that he really shouldn’t have. Attraction? Desire? Whatever it was he hoped it was a fluke. Either way he needed to get some distance from Harley so he started up the car and headed back to the motel. They parted ways in the hideout so that he could go torture his waiting victim and she headed towards her room.

“Goodnight, Mr. J. And thanks for the hot chocolate.” She said to him hesitantly. Her cheeks were pink and she couldn’t seem to make eye contact with him.

“You’re welcome.” He replied awkwardly. He was grateful to get away from her and whatever odd feelings she was causing him to experience.


	3. Chapter 3

She’d been avoiding the Joker ever since that night, the night of her first kill. The intensity of the experience was too much for her and she didn’t know how to interact with him anymore. Before the killing she’d actually enjoyed spending time around him. He was funny, smart, entertaining and he radiated power. She liked to be close to him, it felt like the power seeped into her skin and made her feel more powerful too. The guys all tried to avoid the Joker as much as possible, there were too many stories about how he’d randomly killed a guy who wasn’t doing anything worse than being in the Joker’s way when he was in a bad mood. She knew she should be afraid too but she felt almost addicted to the feeling of being near him. It charged her up and gave her the courage to keep up her crazy plan. And Harley did realize how crazy it was now. She obviously couldn’t write a book about any of this. Not only because of incriminating herself in several crimes including murder but also because she couldn’t do that to Mr. J. Not now that she’d spent time with him. Not since that night.

She couldn’t stop thinking of how she’d felt. Harley was standing there pointing a gun at a woman who’d probably never done anything worth dying for and she knew this was the moment where she was in or out for good. If she didn’t kill this woman the Joker would probably kill her. And if she did commit her first murder how was she going to live with it? That’s when everything changed. The Joker put his arm around her and asked her to kill. To kill for him. As she felt his breath against her ear a shudder of the most intense sexual desire she’d ever felt shot through her body. And then she’d known, she would do anything for him. It didn’t matter what or to whom. If he wanted it from her then he would get it. He was the only thing that mattered. She gave up the idea of her book right then. She gave up the idea of anything other than him right then.

After the killing everything had turned awkward between them. She couldn’t even look at him without blushing like a teenager. When she did have to spend time with him, every second in his presence was painfully arousing. She couldn’t pass him in the hall without having to run to her room and get herself off quickly. Harley had always been a very sexual person but this was different. She wasn’t just attracted to him, this wasn’t a crush. She was obsessed with him and rather than fight it she wanted to fall further and further under his spell. She hadn’t ever considered the idea that he might reciprocate her feelings. She’d worked for him long enough that she was fairly certain he wasn’t gay but she thought he might be asexual. She’d never had a man look at her the way he did. Like the idea of fucking her had never crossed his mind. It was disappointing to her personally but it only increased her obsession with this man she knew she’d never have.

Now weeks later she found herself in a situation where she couldn’t avoid him. He was standing in the doorway of her room with a special assignment he needed her and her alone for. He was asking her out on a date. Oh not a real date, she’d have passed out by now if he had. He was asking her to accompany him to a cocktail party being thrown by Oswald Cobblepot at the Iceberg Lounge. She was going to be extra fighting power in a situation where it would be in poor taste to bring actual thugs and more importantly she'd be there to look pretty on his arm. It made perfect sense for him to take her to this but she didn’t know how she was going to make it through the event without embarrassing herself. If she could keep her humiliation to just blushing in his presence it would be a miracle.

With the Joker’s permission Harley went into Gotham to buy a dress and do anything else she needed to do ahead of their outing. It was the first time she had been out in the city on her own since she took her new job. At first she felt sort of small and alone. By the time she’d found a dress, had her nails and hair done and bought some amazing new shoes she’d finally remembered who she was. She had gotten so used to covering her body, trying to look less appealing and hanging around lowlife scumbags that she’d almost lost herself. Well from now on things were going to be different. She’d wear what she wanted and do what she wanted and if any of the guys back at the hideout gave her trouble she’d give them twice as much trouble back. And she was done ducking and blushing whenever Mr. J came near. How dare she think she had no chance with him? There wasn’t a man alive who could resist her charms and Mr. J wasn’t going to either.

With a renewed sense of self and a truly fantastic new dress, Harley was prepared to begin her battle for the Joker’s attention when she returned to the hideout. Of course the first person who’s attention she got was a real bastard who’d been harassing her every chance he got. Most of the guys by now had learned to leave her alone but this guy, Chris, he never let up. She’d already broken his hand once when he’d had the audacity to try shoving it down her pants. As soon as he saw her walk into the hideout all dressed up for a night out he headed straight for her with that look on his face, the one men got when they were about to start saying stupid things to try to pick up a woman who was minding her own business. She imagined it was the same look every man who had ever texted an unsolicited picture of his dick got right before he hit send.

“God damn, Harley, look at you! I just want to come all over that pretty face of yours!” Chris exclaimed loudly. Right, she was done with this shit. Harley pulled a small gun out of her handbag and shot Chris in the head. He collapsed in a heap a few feet in front of her.

“You got what you deserved, dumbass.” Harley told the corpse as she walked around it. When she looked up, she saw Mr. J leaning against the wall watching her with a smile on his face.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Harley.” He told her, still smiling. For a minute she started to pull back into the meek shadow of herself she’d been lately but she stopped herself just in time. She stood a little taller, held her head high and looked the Joker directly in the eyes for the first time in weeks.

“Sorry you feel that way, Mr. J but I wasn’t going to take any more of his crap. If you don’t like it I’m sure you’ll do something about it.”

“It’s just that you might have gotten blood on your dress and it’s entirely too lovely to ruin.” He stood up from where he was leaning and held his arm out to her. “Shall we go?”

She took his arm and walked out to the car with him. Moe was driving them tonight and Harley took advantage of having a driver to sit in the back with Mr. J. She sat as close to him as she could without actually touching him. She was feeling bolder but not quite ready to risk touching the Joker without permission. He didn't move away from her, which she took as a good sign. It had been so long since she’d been close to him. No wonder she hadn’t been her best self, she hadn’t been getting her regular exposure to the power that radiated off the man next to her. She basked in it now like a cat lying in a sunbeam.

“You look happy, Harley.” The Joker observed. She looked at him and gave him a coy smile.

“Is that all?” She asked while twirling a lock of her blond hair around one finger. He gave her an amused look.

“And you look very beautiful of course.” He said with a small laugh.

She got the impression that he meant it when he said she was beautiful but that he didn’t find that particularly surprising or interesting. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. What would he find interesting? Moe took a sharp corner and the small distance between them disappeared as Harley’s body slid into the Joker’s. She almost fell across his lap but caught herself by grabbing his arm. She looked up into his face to see what his reaction to her being so close was. Their eyes met and neither one of them said anything. Harley watched Mr. J’s pupils expand and contract in the cool green pool of his irises. After a minute or two of her staring the Joker finally looked down at her hands gripping the sleeve of his jacket and then back up at her. He didn’t say anything but she felt like he’d pushed her away so she moved her hands and straightened back up. She felt a little rejected but as a last act of rebellion she didn’t move over in the slightest and they sat there with their bodies touching the rest of the way.

When they entered the Iceberg Lounge, Harley was shocked at the crowd of people. It was a room full of Gotham’s most notorious villains and their dates. It looked like prom night at Arkham Asylum. She hadn’t asked the Joker why they were going to a cocktail party thrown by Oswald Cobblepot when he had told her about it. Now she wondered what this was all about. Did Gotham’s villains get together and socialize regularly? Was this like the villain ball or something? Would they be electing a queen and king of Gotham’s underworld later in the evening?

“What is this, Mr. J? Is every villain in Gotham here or is it just my imagination?” She asked the Joker as he led her through the crowd.

“Probably, any of them that are out of Blackgate or Arkham anyway. As to the occasion, Lex Luthor is in town and this is the Penguin’s idea of hospitality.” The Joker explained to her. Hmm, she hadn’t even realized Lex Luthor was a villain.

“Do you like Lex Luthor?” The Joker laughed at that.

“No, I do not.”

“Do you like anyone here?” She had to wonder why they were attending an event to honor Lex Luthor.

“Maybe.” He looked at her and then away quickly. Oh well, it wasn’t her business to know why they did the things the Joker wanted to do. They eventually made their way over to Oswald Cobblepot.

“Joker! So good to see you out and about!” Cobblepot greeted Mr. J in the friendliest tone Harley had ever seen anyone use with her boss. She liked the little man in front of her for that if nothing else. He sort of ruined it by leering at her immediately afterward but she was used to that sort of thing.

“Who is this beautiful creature you’ve somehow tricked into being your date for the evening?”

“Oswald Cobblepot, meet Harley Quinn. Harley works for me.” The Joker introduced them and she tried to shake Cobblepot’s hand but of course he chose to kiss the back of her hand instead.

“I heard you’d hired a woman for your crew, I must say I never imagined that she would be so enchanting. My dear if you decide you’d like a change of scene, there will always be a position open for you in my operation.” The Penguin offered, his tone communicating that position could be taken any way she liked.

“Gee, thanks Mr. Cobblepot but I don’t think I’m likely to ever feel dissatisfied by my current position. It’s very stimulating and creative work. Plus there’s an awful lot of it, almost too much for a girl to handle.” She could dish out the innuendo too, and if it made the Joker sound like an amazing lover she was ok with that. Maybe if rumor got around he’d get curious to find out if it was true, she certainly was.

Cobblepot let out a boisterous laugh. “Oh, I like her an awful lot, Joker. You had better keep an eye on her or I’ll do my best to lure her away.”

“I’m not worried. Harley’s hard to take your eyes off of.” He joined Cobblepot’s laughter. Harley knew he was just putting on a bit of a show for the Penguin but she liked it anyway. As she’d thought to herself previously, sometimes saying a thing made it come true. She wanted the Joker’s eyes on her, it was a beginning anyway.

After their chat with Oswald, Harley went around the room with the Joker playing the role of arm candy. She was fascinated by everyone they met. It was true that she had given up her dream of ever treating these people at Arkham Asylum but she was still enjoying the opportunity to observe them. She was also slightly paranoid on behalf of the Joker. He was calm and confident but she knew he had a lot of enemies, probably more in this room than any place. Not that any of them could best her boss but she still didn’t let her guard down. They had been there for an hour when the Joker finally decided he should pay his respects to Lex Luthor.

“Harley, why don’t you go off and mingle for a few minutes. I have just one more person to talk to and then we’ll be leaving.” He said while untangling her arm from his.

“Are you going to go talk to Lex Luthor?” She asked.

“Yes. It won’t take long.”

“Why can’t I go with you, you’ve introduced me to a lot of other people.” Why didn’t he want her to meet the guest of honor? He didn’t say anything but looked at her sternly.

“I think I’ll go to the ladies room and powder my nose while you’re busy. Ok, Mr. J?” She asked in a respectful tone. It was clear he wasn’t in the mood to be questioned at the moment.

“Sure. I’ll find you when it’s time to go.” He turned away from her and she walked towards the ladies room they had passed earlier.

When she got into the room she stood in front of a mirror, pulled out her lipstick and reapplied the blood red color to her lips. She heard a woman laugh and looked over to see two women looking at her and talking animatedly. Their conversation was punctuated with occasional laughs and their faces made it clear that they were talking about her and it wasn’t very nice. She recognized one of the women as Harvey Dent’s date, she didn’t know who the other woman was. She was tempted to confront them but she didn’t want to keep the Joker waiting around for her while she cleared the women’s restroom of gossiping hags. They left on their own with another laugh. Harley sighed and turned back to the mirror.

“They were trying to figure out how much you made as an escort and if you charged double for the Joker.” A redhead walked out of one of the stalls and spoke to her. The woman was very beautiful but her skin had an odd greenish cast to it.

“Oh. I knew whatever it was probably wasn’t very nice.” Harley replied. She turned to leave.

“Are you really his date?” The redhead asked. Harley stopped and looked back at the woman.

“So what if I am?” She put her hand on her hip and gave the woman a challenging look. The redhead raised her hands in a gesture of peace.

“You’re right, it’s not my business. It’s just unusual. The Joker doesn’t generally bring dates to these things. You must be special. It’s interesting. So much about this night is very boring. My name is Ivy by the way.” So this was Dr. Pamela Isley. She was really meeting all the big names tonight.

“Harley Quinn.”

“Did he give you that name?” Poison Ivy asked with a sneer.

“No, _he_ did not. It’s my name, I chose it.” Clearly this woman wasn’t a big fan of Mr. J.

“Sorry, it just sounded like something he’d come up with.” Harley smiled at that. Ivy might not like the Joker but Harley couldn’t help but be pleased by the comparison.

“Thanks. That’s nice of you to say.”

“Oh, you have got it bad! You seem like a nice kid, I hope whatever it is you’re doing with the Joker works out for you but I wouldn’t count on it.”

“We’ll see.” Harley turned and left. She’d certainly given the villain world a lot to gossip about tonight. She wondered if that was Mr. J’s real reason for bringing her to the party. She heard another snicker as she walked past the woman who had been gossiping with Harvey Dent’s date. She just kept walking until she found the Joker.

“Ready to go, Harley?” He asked. She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. He didn’t kiss her back but he didn’t push her away either. She felt afraid and excited and more alive than she ever had before. She pulled away from him after a few seconds and looked up at him. His face was unreadable.

“Why did you just do that, Harley?” His voice was low and sounded dangerous.

“Because half the people in here think I’m an escort you paid to come with you. I figured if I kissed you they’d stop talking about it.” That wasn’t exactly the reason why but it was a good excuse.

“That’s a myth, Harley. Whores do whatever you pay them to do. You haven’t really proven anything.” He sounded amused by her dumb plan. Fine, she’d show him and everyone else here exactly what she wanted from the Joker.

“I guess I’ll just have to try harder.”

She threw her arms around his neck, pressed her body as close to his as possible and kissed him with as much passion as she could. She expected him to push her away or maybe just stand there and take it again but his lips were moving with hers this time. She pushed her tongue between his lips and explored his mouth with a moan. He still didn’t stop her and she squeaked a little when she felt his arms wrap around her body. They stood there kissing in the middle of the party for a few moments when Harley suddenly realized all the noise of people talking had stopped. The music was still playing but no one at the party was making a sound. She was sure the entire room was staring at them. She was thrilled. No matter what the Joker thought about it, everyone at this party would think of her as the Joker’s girl. She moaned again and pushed her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Apparently that was far enough to bring the Joker to his senses because he did pull away from her then. He didn’t say a word to her, just put an arm around her back and escorted her out of the party. Moe was waiting outside with the car and the Joker put her into the back seat and shut the door.

“Take Harley home, Moe. I’ll find my own way back.” She stared out the window at his tall slender form lit up by the streetlights as Moe drove away from the Iceberg Lounge. She turned around in her seat and sighed. She didn’t know if she’d just had the best night of her life or not. It would sort of depend on whether he let her live to see tomorrow. She touched her lips and remembered what it felt like to kiss him. She leaned her head against the window and let a goofy grin take over her face. She had just kissed the Joker. And he had kissed her back.


	4. Chapter 4

The Joker had been ignoring Harley for the last three days. It was childish, he knew that. He was the Joker, the greatest villain of all time, he couldn’t keep running from one of his employees. He should just kill her and solve all his problems. But he didn’t want to kill her for some reason. All the same they needed to get some things straightened out between them. If she was going to keep working as his henchperson she couldn’t go around kissing him. If only he had managed to not kiss her back. Something kept happening to him whenever he was around Harley lately. His body reacted to her before his brain had a chance to decide what his reaction should be. By the time it caught up it was generally too late to avoid trouble. So he had decided the only solution was to stay out of touching range when she was around. As though realizing what he was doing she ramped up the visual temptation. Her previously practical clothes were replaced with tiny tops and even tinier shorts. Everything jiggled and bounced in an incredibly interesting way when she moved.

So Harley needed to go. Or she had to go back to the professional henchperson he’d been admiring for her job skills only a few days before. She couldn’t keep up this temptress routine and stay here. What would the other henches think, that it was ok to run around half naked and kiss the Joker whenever you felt like it? He shuddered at the thought of Moe in one of Harley’s little outfits. No, she was definitely setting a bad example. Also he noticed that the goons had started looking at her hungrily again and there was something about that he really didn’t like. He felt certain her display was for his benefit but that wasn’t keeping every thug in the place from enjoying the view.

After a good deal of thought he decided today would be the day he confronted her with his knowledge of her past and her agenda for being here. Then she would have to decide to either straighten up and be the henchperson she had been before or she would need to leave. Was he really going to let her just walk out of here? Had he ever let anyone just quit working for him before? His henchmen died so frequently he didn’t think the issue had ever come up. He supposed it was alright to let her leave, all she could tell the world about him was that she had kissed him. Twice. And every villain in Gotham already knew all about it. They had a bank job set for half an hour from now and he’d seen Harley not long ago dressed for the job in clothing that covered the majority of her skin. It seemed like the perfect time to talk, she was fully clothed and they had to leave soon so the conversation could not be a long one. He knocked on her door and told her to come to his room. She gave him a big smile and followed along enthusiastically.

When he had shut the door to his room Harley immediately started trying to get close to him so he gave her an angry look that stopped her in her path. Her face fell and she started twisting a pigtail around her finger nervously. She looked afraid or guilty. Good. She should be feeling both. Going around kissing the most feared man in Gotham like it was some sort of teenaged party game.

“I think you know why I want to talk to you Harley.” He said sternly.

“Is it because I kissed you at the party?” She asked quietly.

“Why would you do something like that, trying to create a little transference Dr. Quinzel? Oh that’s right, you didn’t manage to get accepted into any reputable psychology programs. So how’s your little plan going? I assume you thought you could walk in here and study me and use me as your ticket into the program of your choice.” She was caught and she knew it. She must have decided it was safer not to try and deny it.

“How long have you known?” Her initial surprise turned to resignation.

“The entire time. Who do you think you’re playing with here, Harls?” He laughed at her stupidity in thinking she could fool him. The day some psychobabble spewing harlot could trick him would be the day he turned himself in to Arkham and made a genuine attempt to embrace mental health.

“You’re right, it was a dumb idea. But I’m still glad I did it.” She smiled up at him with that goofy look that graced her face whenever she looked at him lately.

“Why, feeling suicidal or do you think you’ve figured me out?”

“Neither. If I hadn’t come to hench for you, we wouldn’t have met and I wouldn’t have known how wonderful you are. Plus life with you is a real kick, beats the ivory tower any day.”

“How wonderful I am? You can drop the lovey dovey routine, you’ve been caught, there’s no reason to try and get close to me now.”

“Sure there is.” She moved closer to him, as close as she could get without touching him. “The best reason of all, I love you.”

He jumped back a few inches and looked down at her face. She was completely sincere, this was no act. “You’re insane!”

“Maybe. Probably. But isn’t everyone a little insane when they’re in love?” She drifted towards him again as though magnetically drawn to him.

“I don’t mean crazy for me, I mean fruit loops, bonkers, off your nut, loony toons, they’re coming to take you away haha, full on coo coo for cocoa puffs. You can’t be in love with me. I’m the Joker, people don’t fall in love with me.” He backed away again and felt the back of his legs hit the side of his bed.

“How could I not be in love with you? You’re the Joker. Other people might not fall in love with you but I sure did.” She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Like the other night he found his mouth responding immediately and by the time his brain kicked in and tried to shut things down he was already enjoying himself too much to want to follow through.

Why was this enjoyable? She was pushing her soft lips against his, he could feel her breath on his skin and his nose was being smashed a little. It made no sense, what was he getting out of this? He had just about talked himself out of continuing the kiss when her tongue pushed past his lips and into his mouth. She tasted sweet and her velvety tongue was stroking his. She pushed her body closer to his and he could feel her soft full breasts pressed against his chest. His cock jumped as her body made contact with it. She apparently noticed and moaned against his mouth. He didn’t know what to do with all of the physical sensation he was experiencing. He was a creature of intellect, he rarely had physical contact with anyone outside of his fights with Batman. He was certain he’d had sex before but he couldn’t remember where or when; or why for that matter. It was clear from her enthusiasm that if anyone had the answer to why, it was Harley. This was only going to escalate if he didn’t stop things now so he pulled her arms from around his neck and pushed her away from him.

She opened her eyes and giggled at him. Her face was smug, like she’d won something. Had she won something? Was there something that had just happened that assured her victory? He didn’t like that, he didn’t like that he was playing a game he didn’t know the rules to against someone who was clearly a grand champion at it. He glared at her.

“What are you smiling at?”

“I just kissed the man of my dreams, what should I be doing?” She spun her body back and forth a little while she looked up at him from hooded eyes. She was about to cause more trouble, he could sense it.

“If you still don’t believe that I kissed you because I wanted to, I can prove it. Just so there are no lingering doubts about my intentions.” She smiled a little, this was clearly a trick but he wanted to know what she had in mind.

“And just how would you do that?”

“I can show you how turned on kissing you got me. Then you’d know I was kissing you because I wanted to be, right?” Was that right? Hell if he knew. He was probably making a mistake but he decided to concede the point with a nod. Her smile grew and she started unbuttoning her jeans.

“What are you doing?”

“I told you, proving to you how turned on I am. That’s the only way to know for sure, and you do want to know for sure don’t you?” It wasn’t what she was saying that mattered, he realized that finally. It was the tone she was using. He used it himself when he was explaining to someone why it was perfectly reasonable for him to slice open their throat. And as she said the words, even though he knew what she was doing to him, he couldn’t help but go along with her.

“Ok, prove it. But I’m not having sex with you if that was your big plan.” He smiled back at her, thinking he’d finally scored a point. She nodded as her smile curled into a wicked cat that ate the canary grin. What had just happened?

She pulled her jeans and panties off and laid down on his bed. She pulled her feet up on the bed so her knees were bent and spread her legs wide. He realized he’d stopped breathing and his face was feeling hot. She was completely exposed to him and he was sure if he could look up to her face he’d see triumph in it. Unfortunately he couldn’t take his eyes off the pink and wet folds of her pussy. It was glistening, was that what they were supposed to do? He couldn’t quite remember. Either way he felt far less offended at this sight than he thought he should. Who was she to walk in here and play centerfold on his bed? He was the Joker, she should be cowering with fear in the corner, not opening up her body to him on his very own bed.

“If you aren’t convinced you can dip a finger in and check for sure. I can tell you for certain that I’m very wet but the whole issue is about you trusting me so you should probably double check.” There she went again, using that reasonable, this is all for your benefit tone with him again. And damned if he wasn’t already reaching his finger out to do what she suggested.

He got down on his knees in front of her body and pushed his index finger in. It slid in with no resistance and a deep groan came from Harley. He slowly withdrew his finger and looked how wet it was with her juices. She raised up on her elbows and looked at him with a gentle smile.

“You can do it again if you want.” She kept her tone light and unconcerned but her eyes were full of greedy anticipation.

Up until now he had been asking himself why he was doing any of this. Why did he even let her live much less return her kisses? Now here he was down on his knees, staring straight into her dripping wet slit with one finger already coated in her secretions. For the first time in all of this he found himself thinking why not? He pushed two fingers into her this time and she squeaked and smiled down at him.

“Oh yeah! Don’t stop Mr. J. I love fucking your fingers. Oh, ah, more!” She began chanting a pornographic litany at him and he found that his cock was hard and throbbing against the confining material of his trousers. He resented how turned on her dirty talk was getting him.

“Shut up or I stop.” He threatened and she immediately stopped talking. She couldn’t however seem to get her moans and other cries of pleasure under control. She was still up on her elbows looking down at him. The sight of the Joker between her legs was clearly the greatest thing she’d ever seen in her life. He was fairly certain that if he never touched her again, this was what she’d see in her mind every time she touched herself. When he never touched her again, not if.

He moved his thumb up to the swollen nub at the top of her sex going on instinct or some long buried memory and he apparently had found the button to increase her volume because her cries were growing closer to screams. He let her push herself up and down on his fingers while he circled her clit with his thumb. Her ragged breaths were loud and intermixed with even louder moans and wails. There was a knock at the door and he slapped his hand over her mouth, hoping whoever was on the other side hadn’t heard too much.

“What is it?” He called out trying to keep his voice at its normal level of impatient and irritated that he used when goons came knocking at his door. Harley continued bouncing on his fingers and it was just as easy to keep his thumb in motion as not.

“Everyone is ready to go for the bank job, Boss.” Moe called. The Joker looked up at Harley’s face just in time to see her eyes roll back and her hips started twisting and moving faster to grind her pussy harder against his hand.

“We can’t find Harley though, Boss.” Moe added. The Joker let out a long low laugh.

“Don’t worry, Moe. I’m sure she’s coming.” He continued to snicker as he finished watching her do just that.

“Ok, Boss. We’ll be ready whenever you are.” Moe replied and then, hopefully, left.

The Joker held his hand still as Harley stopped moving completely and tightened her whole body. She was gripping handfuls of his blanket and threw her head back with a scream so intense it was audible through his hand that was tightly clamped across her mouth. She’d probably have finger shaped bruises on her face tomorrow. When she finally relaxed he moved his hand off her mouth and she felt back onto the bed, panting and sighing. He moved his hand slowly out of her body and looked down at his wet fingers. He wanted to take her wetness and rub it onto his painfully hard dick but he was not going to escalate this mad situation any further. A small part of his brain suggested he give it a taste and see what flavor Harley was but he referred that part of his brain to the plan i.e. not escalating things. Apparently amused by his clear indecision on what to do with his slippery fingers or working from some plan of her own, Harley looked at him and giggled and then before he knew what was happening she was sucking his fingers into her own mouth to pull away her juices with a swirling sucking motion that made him ache with the desire to reconsider escalation. He needed to get out of here.

He stood up and looked down at the flushed and half naked woman on his bed. And then at his ridiculously hard cock making its presence very visible through his trousers. He sighed and wondered once again how he had let this happen. He tried to adjust himself so his erection was less obvious and heard another giggle from Harley.

“You know I could take care of that for you. I promise you’ll like it.” She said in a teasing sing song.

Harley was like a lit match around a pile of dry grass. There was only one thing he could think to do to regain control of what was happening. He grabbed her arm and dragged her into the bathroom attached to his bedroom. With no concern for her comfort or safety he tossed her into the shower, ignoring her protests and complaints. He threw the temperature knob over as far as it would go on the cold side and switched on the shower spray. She screamed and sputtered under the water. Her face flipped its setting from fuck to kill in an instant. Now he was the one laughing.

“Cool it, Harls.” He laughed even harder at her and she glared daggers at him. “The boys and I are going to go pull this job. I suggest you use that time to get yourself under control.”

She pushed her long wet hair out of her face and smiled at him. Uh oh. “I’ll get myself all nice and clean for you, Puddin’. Then when you get back you can get me all dirty again.”

She turned away from him to adjust the temperature settings and continued to ignore him while she pulled off her soaking wet shirt and bra. He decided he should get out while he could, before she turned around and lured him into the shower with her or something. He slammed the bathroom door shut and took a minute to try and collect himself. He was still hard, though he was starting to get it under control. If he just didn’t think about anything that had happened with Harley in the last twenty minutes. Or the last few days. Or if he just didn’t think about Harley at all he’d be just fine. He ran his hand down his face in frustration. How had a hot blonde with an out of control sex drive and designs on him suddenly become the one foe he couldn’t defeat? And had she just called him Puddin’?


	5. Chapter 5

Harley woke up in her own bed, which was rather annoying since she had gone to sleep in the Joker’s bed. After her unexpected shower she’d decided to just crawl under his blanket and wait for him to come back. She was still naked and she assumed the Joker had carried her to her bed, she hoped he had enjoyed the view on the short trip from his room to hers. She grinned thinking about him carrying her around without any clothes on. She just wished she’d been awake to have seen the look on his face.

His reaction to her romantically had been quite puzzling so far. He seemed surprised by everything that was happening but that was so uncharacteristic. Mr. J usually seemed to know everything before it was going to happen. Even though he didn’t seem as in charge of what was happening as he usually did he certainly hadn’t disappointed her so far. Just a few days ago she thought she’d had no chance with him. Now she had kissed him repeatedly and had his fingers stroking her to orgasm just a couple of hours ago. Who knew what she could seduce him into doing by the end of the week? Well, no time like the present to continue her romantic pursuits.

Harley got out of bed and pulled on a pair of panties and a tank top, both black cotton. It wasn’t as obvious as a frilly piece of lingerie but she had no intention of putting on actual clothing. It was late but people kept late hours in the Joker’s hideout so she poked her head out of her room before entering the hallway to make sure there weren’t any henchmen milling around. Finding herself alone she walked the few steps it took to get to the Joker’s door and tried opening it. It was locked. That was unusual, not that she made a habit of going to his room but he wasn’t exactly afraid anyone was going to bother him. Most everyone who lived in the motel tried to avoid him. Except Harley. Hmph, he was locking her out. She knocked on the door.

“Go away, Harley!” The Joker ordered.

“But, Mr. J I just wanted…”

“GO. AWAY!” He shouted, interrupting her. Well then!

Harley walked back into her room and felt tears welling up in her eyes. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t keep playing this game of hide and seek with him. Whatever was going on in his mind it was clear his body was completely on board with Harley’s agenda. The problem with Mr. J was that he thought about everything too much. What could she do to make him feel something for a change? Well she could stand here crying about how he had rejected her or she could go in there and get her man. But how to get in there?

She was suddenly struck with an idea. She looked over at the wall that separated her room from her Puddin’s room. She walked over to it and tapped on it lightly. It sounded pretty hollow. She had no doubt it was cheaply made, this motel had never been very nice even when it was open. She looked around the room and found what she was looking for near her bed. She had taken to using a large sledgehammer as a weapon whenever they were doing something that she could take it along for. It also doubled as a by the bed security system. Thugs who came looking for action from her left with whatever she could get under the head of her hammer flattened. Now it was going to help her get to her Mr. J.

She lifted the hammer and swung it into the wall as hard as she could. It went right through the drywall on her side very neatly. Perfect. She pulled the hammer out of the wall and repeated her action over and over until a nice sized hole was forming. On an upswing of the hammer she heard her door thrown open and looked over to find Mr. J staring at her. He looked like he was about to yell at her but then he saw what she was doing and a smile came to his face. Then he started laughing. It was a full on cackling insane Joker laugh and it was magnificent. Harley joined in; she couldn’t help it, his laughter was like a song she just had to sing along to. She didn’t think she’d ever shared a laugh like this with him before. She’d laughed at his jokes plenty and he’d laughed at all sorts of mad things but they’d never really laughed together. It was almost as good as kissing him.

“Harley, you have to stop trying to break down my wall.” Mr. J told her when he finally got control of his laughter.

“But Mr. J if I don’t break it down, who will? You deserve to be loved and I’m gonna love you forever.” She pleaded with him. If he’d just let her show him how great they could be together!

“What are you talking about? I asked you to stop driving that sledgehammer through the wall.”

“Sure, that’s what you think you’re worried about, but it’s the wall you around your heart you don’t want me breaking through.” She told him solemnly.

“Oh now you’re a psychologist again! Alright, have it your way. I don’t want you breaking down either wall. Can’t you just leave things alone? I know that what happened earlier maybe gave you the idea that something was going on here that isn’t but I just got caught up in the moment. It’s not going to happen again. I don’t need this hassle Harley.”

“How is my loving you a hassle?” She asked.

“Because it doesn’t stop there. You’re not going to just mind your own business while scribbling my name with hearts around it in your diary. You’re going to make demands, need attention, expect things. I have important work to do, I can’t spend my whole day giving you what you want.”

“Oh, I’ll bet you could, Puddin’…” She said in a sultry tone.

“That’s exactly what I mean. You’ll be pestering me all the time. I’ll never get anything else done. It’s not going to happen. I think it’s best if you just pack your things and leave. And don’t call me, Puddin’!” He turned to leave and she panicked. He was kicking her out! She’d never see her Puddin’ again.

“Mr. J!” She cried out to keep him from leaving. He stopped but didn’t turn back around.

“What.”

“What if I don’t pester you? What if I keep myself under control and let you do your work. Everything can be just like it was except maybe sometimes when you aren’t busy we could be together.” She knew it was a sort of pathetic compromise but it was better than being without him.

He turned around and walked toward her, “You think you could? Control yourself that is.”

She nodded and smiled at him. Maybe this could work.

“Ok, prove it.” He stood as close to her as he could without coming in contact with her. He tilted his head down and placed his lips close to hers. Her lips tingled in anticipation of being touched but he held his just where they were. “Just don’t touch me for two minutes and I’ll believe you.”

When he spoke she felt his breath tickle her skin, he was so close they were sharing the same air. The warmth of his body was comforting her while his powerful presence inflated her own sense of power. When she inhaled her chest just barely brushed against his clothing. She stood there tense and overwhelmed, his lips were so close. She felt like a starving person holding a bowl of ice cream they weren’t allowed to eat.

“You are doing so well, pumpkin.” He purred seductively at her.

And that was it, she grabbed him and kissed him. She felt a tear run down her cheek as she realized that she had just lost her chance at happiness from her own inability to control herself. She figured she might as well get as much out of this kiss as she could since it would be the last one. At least he was kissing her back, in fact he pushed his tongue into her mouth first this time. She wanted to squeak with happiness at his unexpected aggressiveness but she worried that if she made a sound or did anything besides kiss him it would break the spell and everything would be over. So they stood there kissing for quite a while. She thought maybe he wasn’t quite ready for it to be over either. That gave her hope that she could still persuade him to change his mind. It was time to take another big risk.

She ran her hand down the front of his body until she reached his cock and gave it a squeeze. His body responded just as it should and clearly liked what she was doing. Of course, as she expected, this escalation of their make out session led to the Joker pulling away from her kiss. Perfect, now she just had to do something that was honestly insane but she thought might be just the thing to help her finally get what she wanted. The Joker pushed her away and turned to walk out of the room. It was now or never.

“Mr. J, I’m not going to leave and you don’t want me to stay so I think the best thing would be for you to kill me.” She tried to keep her voice steady as she said it. He turned back around and looked at her like he was trying figure out if she was serious.

“I don’t see a point in living if I can’t be with you and if I’m going to die I want you to be the one to do it. Will you? Please.” He looked like he believed her and pulled his gun out of its holster.

“Not like that. I deserve better don’t you think? Can’t you do it with your own hands? Let me die happy?” His face had been sort of neutral before but now a look of keen anticipation took over. That was ok. He was the Joker, she’d be insulted if he didn’t like the idea of strangling her after she’d seen him enjoy doing it to so many strangers.

“Sure, Harley. I’d be happy to.” He put his gun away and stood in front of her. He pushed her hair away from her neck gently and she felt goose bumps cover her skin. He ran his hands lightly over her shoulders and up to her neck. The gentle caress was intensely thrilling to her. She’d seen him strangle a lot of people but he’d never been so tender about it. She meant something to him whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“Not here, over on the bed. I know I’ll be dead but I don’t want my corpse on this nasty old floor.” She said to him before he began applying pressure to her throat. He rolled his eyes at her.

“Any other requests?” He complained.

“Oh come on Mr. J, I’m not asking so much, am I?” She asked sweetly. He moved his hands and gestured that she should go over to the bed. She walked over but stopped when she got to it.

“Will you sit down on the bed? I know I’m being demanding but it is my death after all.” He looked at her suspiciously but did what she asked. She quickly straddle his lap and looked him in the eyes. She could tell he was about to complain and then shook his head a little instead.

“Are you happy now? Everything just the way you want it?” His tone was exasperated. She smiled and nodded.

She knew that she wouldn’t have a lot of time once he put his hands back on her throat but she wasn’t worried. She was good at this, she should be by now. As soon as he was focused on strangling her she started in with what would essentially be the lap dance for her life. If there was anything the last few days taught her it was that the Joker had a hard time putting the brakes on once she got things started up. The truth he apparently wouldn’t admit to himself was that he wanted her, maybe as much as she wanted him. It just took a little push to make it happen. So she shifted her body to the correct side and as he began squeezing her throat she started grinding her pussy against him. She suspected he’d be getting hard from strangling her even if she wasn’t encouraging him with a little tactile stimulation but now he was quite noticeably erect.

“Harley, stop that!” He ordered. She just gave him a smug little smile. What was he going to do if she didn’t? Kill her? Plus what had started out as a way to push him into more erotic explorations with her was quickly turning into a situation where she was losing control of herself and just enjoying the ride so to speak. She shifted her hips back a little so that her clit was getting more stimulation. The Joker’s hands eased around her throat and she took in a breath while she could. Seeing that she was not going to stop he decided to stop her. He took his hands away from her neck and grabbed her hips. And that was what she was waiting for. She grabbed the hem of her tank top and pulled it off, throwing it across the room.

Harley owed both a great deal of disappointment and profit to her large breasts. When she was younger she had been a competitive gymnast with dreams of the Olympics. Then during practice one day she landed short and heard a terrible popping sound coming from her knee. Her ACL had to be reconstructed and she spent weeks not being able to even walk around. Before her injury her body had been lean and toned, her breasts a small B cup. After weeks of doing nothing but pouting and eating ice cream at an age where puberty had just been waiting to pounce, all of the sudden everything got soft and curvy. Her breasts didn’t stop until she was a large D cup. She was suddenly much more popular with the boys at school but even though her injury healed well her coaches knew things were over for her. The newly developed womanly shape she had just didn’t move the way it used to. And her focus wasn’t really there anymore. Not since she’d had her first orgasm during a dry hump session on the sofa in her parent’s basement with her first boyfriend. Suddenly the world seemed full of much more interesting things than back flips and balance beam routines.

So while they had ruined her gymnastics career her breasts had certainly helped put her through college. The Grin and Bare It could be depressing at times but she always had enough money for tuition and books and rent. And one thing she’d learned doing her job was that almost all men lost their capacity for higher brain functions when you shoved a pair of tits in their face. Something just shut down in their brains, she had no explanation for it but she’d seen it too many times to doubt the power of it. Harley had no reason to think the Joker would be any different. Maybe if he’d never kissed her back. Maybe if he hadn’t fucked her with his fingers a few hours ago. Maybe if his cock wasn’t rock hard under her body right now. So she pressed her chest to his face and waited to see what happened. He had gripped her hips hard in an attempt to stop her movements earlier, now his grip loosened and she went back to her sliding back and forth over his erection. She looked at the shock on his face and stifled a giggle. After a moment his face relaxed and though he was the scariest man in Gotham, even he wasn’t immune to the need to nuzzle breasts. His hands moved up to her chest and he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. Once again she was pleased to see that just the tiniest push in the right direction worked well in getting her what she wanted. Manipulating someone as smart and powerful as the Joker was terrifying and thrilling all at once. One of these days she’s push it too far and there would be hell to pay but feeling him touch her like this was worth anything he could do to punish her.

She had a choice to make now. He was clearly enjoying sucking and nipping at her tits and she could just keep things going in the way they were but like their earlier sexual experience she was abandoning herself to the pleasure of what was happening while he was still holding back. She wanted to pull him down into ecstatic oblivion with her. Since he was distracted she decided to push her luck a little further and started to unfasten his belt. He didn’t do anything to stop her so she kept going. His pants were unbuttoned and unzipped and still he didn’t react. Well then, might as well go for it. She lifted her body up off his lap slightly and slid her hand into his pants. As soon as she wrapped her hand around his cock he hissed in a sharp breath but didn’t stop what he was doing, if anything he seemed more enthusiastic. This was going quite well, Harley couldn’t hold back a happy squeak. She gently pulled his erection out of his pants and gave it a firm squeeze. She could easily push her panties aside and sink down on him now and boy was she ever tempted to. In the short term it would make her happier than anything but long term she worried about rushing into sex without him first agreeing to it. The Joker’s views on love and sex were still a total mystery to her but she didn’t want to do anything that he could resent her for later. She decided to take the opposite approach, give him something to think about. Something that would help him decide once and for all how things were going to go between them.

She let go of his cock and pulled away from his mouth, moaning as he teeth scraped along one nipple. With practiced ease she slid out of his lap and onto her knees in front of him. She had never actually done this with one of her clients at the Grin and Bare It but had teasingly simulated it many times. It was a real wallet emptier. She pushed his knees apart and slithered her way back up between them to deliver a long slow lick up the underside of his dick. She looked up and made eye contact with the Joker. For the first time in all their confusing sexual encounters there was heat in his gaze and she thought just maybe he was starting to succumb to his baser desires. She took his cock into her mouth and pushed it all the way to the back of her throat causing herself to gag. A gush of saliva dripped down his cock and she pulled her mouth away. Now that he was nice and slippery she sat up a little further and pushed her breasts up and around either side of his dick. She looked at him again, he was staring at her like he had never seen anything so interesting in all his life. Good. If he decided he didn’t want to be with her after this he could live with the memory of watching his cock sliding up and down between her tits for the rest of his life. And she planned to make this plenty memorable.

Keeping her breasts pushed tightly together she slid them up and down his cock, giving the head a swirling lick every time it pushed up close to her mouth. After a few seconds of this the Joker leaned forward a little and started thrusting between her tits on his own. She gave him a sly smile and then put more effort into licking and sucking his cock on each up thrust. His breathing was getting closer to panting and he stared at her so intensely it was almost scary, but a good sort of scary. The kind of scary that made her ache with need. After a few minutes of all the thrusting and sucking he grabbed her arms to hold her body still as he sped up his thrusts and then let out a groan as he came. She watched in fascination as his jizz sprayed onto the top of her breasts but then she realized what she was doing and clamped her lips around the head of his cock so she could get a taste of him. She felt a painful clench in her empty pussy as her whole body was hit with a wave of pleasure. God she wanted him in her so badly. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to take some slow deep breaths to help the need for him pass. When she opened her eyes the Joker was watching her. She gave him a little smile and he actually gave her kind of a sweet smile back. She let go of her breasts and let him pull his cock away. A bit of jizz trickled down the center of her chest and she giggled a little at the light tickling sensation of it.

“I guess I should clean up a little but please don’t leave.” She pleaded with him and he nodded. She went into her bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She was generally disheveled, flushed and her chest was covered in Mr. J’s jizz. She smiled in delight. It was almost sad to wipe it off but cold come lost its charm quickly. When she was cleaned up she went back to her room and found the Joker gone. Her smile dropped immediately. She noticed her door was open and quickly put on her tank top in case any goons were wandering around and could see her. She walked over to shut the door, her eyes starting to tear up but then she realized the Joker’s door was standing wide open too. She looked into his room and saw him at his desk.

“Come in, Harley, and shut the door behind you.” She quickly did as he asked. He turned from his desk and looked at her.

“Do I still have to leave Mr. J?” She asked after he still hadn’t said anything.

“No. You can stay for now. But you have to keep your hands to yourself from now on unless I tell you otherwise. I know if it was up to you I’d never get out of bed again.” His tone was sarcastic but he gave her an affectionate smile.

“You’re right, Puddin’. I don’t think I could ever get enough of you. But I’ll do my best to behave. And if I mess up I know you’ll straighten me out.” She was sure that was true. She had a feeling there was a lot of punishment in her future. It wouldn’t be easy to be in a relationship with the Joker but nothing worth doing was ever easy.

“I will, Harley. And it won’t always be very pleasant. We should get to bed, you can stay in here if you want but if you become a nuisance I’ll throw you out.” He stood up and started getting undressed. “And stop calling me Puddin’.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. J!” She ran and jumped into the bed and snuggled into the covers while waiting for the Joker to join her in his bed. She’d never been so happy in her life.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up with Harley curled around him wasn’t the worst experience of his life. It was actually pretty pleasant. She was warm and soft and she smelled good. The down side was that he hated that he was lying here thinking thoughts like that. He normally woke up thinking about what sort of chaos and destruction he could look forward to causing that day. He liked that better. Or his mind did. Annoyingly his body seemed to prefer Harley. He decided it was best to get up and shower before his body gave in to just how much it liked Harley. He had told her last night that things had to be on his terms and it would set a bad example if the very first morning he gave in to what she clearly wanted so badly.

He had been somewhat perplexed as to why she wanted it so badly until last night. His two sexual encounters the day before were the only clear moments of sex in his memory and clear didn’t really begin to describe it. Vivid, immersive, fixed for all time. Or he hoped so anyway, at least until the next time someone gave him electroshock therapy. He had a feeling that if that happened, Harley would be happy to make new memories with him. When he got out of the shower he found Harley awake in the bed and beaming a huge satisfied smile at him. Apparently just being allowed to sleep with him was enough. For the moment. He knew she’d start her pushing and pestering again soon. It was probably time for her to go back to her own room before she got bored and started stirring up more trouble.

“Harley, we’ve got another job for today. You have a starring role in this one. Dress like you are going to your old job.” He instructed her and turned to start dressing. He could feel her eyes on him, he didn’t like it.

“Now, Harley!” He snapped and heard her scramble out of the bed and back to her own room. It was good to know that she hadn’t completely forgotten who was in charge around here.

When he was dressed he went over the plans for the day’s job with the group of goons that were going. Harley was still missing but her part in all of this would come as naturally as breathing to her so prepping her really wasn’t necessary. He could tell her about it on the drive out to the highway. Just when he thought he was doing to have to go looking for her she appeared and every thug in the place stopped whatever he was doing to stare at her. She was in what could best be described as a school girl uniform but one made for a four year old apparently because the skirt and shirt were both so tiny that no adult person could have anticipated being able to wear them. With her hair in high pigtails and her make-up a careful blend of virgin and whore she was impossibly sexually appealing. If she had worn this the first night he met her at least he would have known the danger she presented and gotten rid of her right away. No one could ignore her like this. It was perfect for what he needed her to do, which was get a driver with a truck full of highly restricted chemicals to stop and give her a ride of one sort or another. It was a gamble but he’d bet on Harley’s sex appeal over any other method.

He explained her role to her on the drive and she understood immediately. As expected, Harley had no qualms about seducing a man’s property out from under him so long as the seduction was all an act. A truck driver would be suspicious of anything he saw close to Gotham City, it did have a reputation for criminal types running things, so they set up an hour or so away. He did have a plan B of course, in case somehow the man driving the truck was sexually ambivalent toward busty blondes but he didn’t think it would be necessary. Even he was having trouble thinking straight when he looked at Harley and Moe had missed his turn more than once from the distraction of her in the back seat. He was pleased that she carefully kept her hands to herself when the other henches were around, perhaps she would do a better job of controlling herself than he had anticipated.

When they found a spot between the sign announcing an upcoming rest stop and the actual rest stop to leave her, she straightened her knee socks and popped a bright pink piece of bubble gum into her mouth. She blew a bubble for him and then smiled wickedly at whatever look she had read on his face. He watched her skirt flip up as she climbed out of the car and had to stifle a moan at the sight. When he came up with this plan he hadn’t yet had any sexual encounters with Harley. He didn’t know what she looked like bare and open to his eyes, he had no idea what her tongue felt like on his cock. The thought of those things was a million miles from his mind. Now he couldn’t look at her dressed like this without thinking about being with her again. And it wasn’t how he wanted to feel on a job. This wasn’t promising.

Moe pulled the car behind some trees. He was certain Harley could take care of herself against one horny truck driver but he wanted to keep an eye on her anyway plus there was always the chance that the truck driver would pass her by and they’d need to recover her. It was a lonely stretch of road and there wasn’t much traffic. The driver should be along any minute according to the Joker’s calculations. He watched Harley through binoculars, no one could possibly mistake her for an actual hitchhiker but a car did stop for her. It was a man alone, he clearly had only the noblest of intentions. She sent him on his way quickly, flashing the knife she had hidden in her cleavage. Watching her get tough with the driver while her skirt was whipped up by the wind didn’t calm his desire for her down any. In fact he felt himself start to harden. His goal of never being aroused in Moe’s presence was now unachievable thanks to Harley. She wasn’t going to like it but he was going to have to make a personnel change.

Finally the truck he was waiting for came down the road and the driver started putting on the brakes as soon as he caught a glimpse of Harley. She ran up to where the truck had stopped and started talking to the driver. The Joker watched her negotiate her flesh trade and then climb into the front of the truck. When it started up he signaled Moe to do the same. After a couple of miles they watched the truck pull into the rest stop where two more cars of goons would be waiting for them. As soon as the truck parked in an isolated part of the parking lot the Joker’s men were in the truck getting Harley out and killing the driver. This was the sort of thing henchmen were made for. Five minutes later the truck was being driven away to their hideout where it would be unloaded and then disposed of, the driver was dead and shoved into a trunk and Harley was happily jumping into the backseat with him.

“Moe, take a smoke break, I need to talk to Harley. I’ll let you know when to come back.” The Joker said as soon as Harley was in the car. She was looking at his mouth like she couldn’t think of anything else to do with herself but kiss him even though she knew she wasn’t supposed to.

“We need to talk about something you’re not going to like, Harley.” He said to her after Moe had left them alone. She looked confused.

“Didn’t I do a good job? Everything went like it should, didn’t it?” She asked nervously.

“You did a good job, everything was fine. That’s not the problem.” He wasn’t sure how to say it without making himself sound weak.

“Oh. Then can I kiss you before you say whatever it is I’m not going to like? Consider it a reward for a job well done?” She looked at him with a pleading look on her face. He considered her request and then looked at her lips. They were red and shiny and delicious looking but he really didn’t want her getting all the shiny redness all over him. As though reading his mind she wiped her lips off with the back of her hand leaving a red smear on one side of her mouth. He liked that smear more than he should have.

“Ok.” He found himself saying unexpectedly. She started kissing him as soon as he agreed so he didn’t have time to change his mind. He justified the kiss in his own mind, she really had been very controlled all day and she did do a good job with the trucker just now. And then he felt her hand start stroking his dick through the fabric of his trousers. So much for her control. And for his control for that matter, his body quickly responded to her touch.

“None of that, Harls.” He told her as he broke their kiss.

“Please, please, please, please.” She whispered the word against his lips over and over until he could no longer think of anything except the gentle push of her breath against his mouth and the feeling of her hand gently stroking and squeezing his cock.

“Yes.” He murmured and before he could shake off the hypnosis of her pleading she had has pants undone and his erection in her hands. She twisted her body around and kneeled next to him on the seat. After giving him lascivious smile she bent over and took his cock into her mouth. The warm, wet undulation of her tongue against his hard flesh was not something he wanted to stop so he gave in to the experience.

He ran his hand through one pigtail and then down the curve of her back. The tiny skirt which barely covered her panties had flipped up when she changed positions and he ran his finger along the elastic waistband of the white cotton panties she had chosen to accompany her school girl look. He pulled down one side and then the other until they were halfway down her thighs and her ass was completely exposed. Even from this angle it looked like a ripe peach that he wanted to take a bite out of. He couldn’t do that without moving so instead he gripped the flesh as hard as he could, looking forward to seeing fingertip bruises on her skin later. She whimpered around his cock from the pain and he felt the sound vibrate pleasurably around him.

Since Harley had started expressing her interest in him, he’d mostly been confused by the entire situation. It was uncharacteristic and at times infuriating. Hurting her and feeling pleasure from it finally cleared this whole situation up for him. Harley was in love with him. Harley would do anything he wanted, be anything he wanted so long as he wanted her. He could hurt her, love her, pleasure her, kill her. He was concerned about the mastery she had over him but suddenly he saw that this power he thought she had over his sexual urges was simply the mirror image of his own power over her. A wicked smile graced his lips and he laughed at how long it had taken him to understand what was happening. He was still the Joker, even if he was engaging in activities that he had thought very unlike himself, there was no one who had power over him.

“Harley, you look like a little slut in this outfit.” He told her with a hard smack on her ass. She squealed a little and then moaned. He moved his hand down between her thighs and she raised her hips up and spread her knees as far as she could to give him increased access to her body. “And now you’re acting like a slut too.”

He slid his long fingers down her wet slit and felt her moan around him again. With a light tug on her clit she actually slid her body back a little further to open herself up for him but in doing so she lost her focus on his cock. That wouldn’t do. He wrapped one of her pigtails around the hand not between her legs and pushed her head down as far as he could. As his dick hit the back of her throat, he felt her spasm around him with a gag. Instead of letting her pull back up, he held her head there, letting his cock impede her ability to breathe. She started whimpering and then clawing at his legs, not in panic but out of a desire to stop her panic he thought. With a laugh he released her head and pushed two fingers into her pussy at the same time. She raised up off his dick and pulled in a deep gasping breath. He pushed her down again and slid his fingers in and out of her. She sucked and moaned until she needed another breath and then the whimpering started again. She never moved her body away from his fingers though and she kept getting wetter.

As he released her head again he moved his fingers out of her and slid them back down to play with her clit. He didn’t push her back down right away and she started enthusiastically sliding her mouth up and down his length. Her tongue slipped and slithered around him ecstatically. He pushed her head back down and thrust three fingers into her this time. He felt a shriek vibrate through his cock and she started sucking hard while pushing her body back and forth on his fingers. He was close to coming and he felt certain he could make her come at any time. When he moved his hand off the back of her head this time he wrapped her pigtail tighter around his hand so that her hair was pulled painfully enough she screeched. He pulled his fingers out of her pussy and slid them back and forth between her clit and her wet opening. She bobbed and sucked and stroked at a manic pace until she was screaming her own orgasm around his cock. He pushed back into her mouth as deep as he could and came in her throat, feeling her swallow around him with each spurt.

After a few moments to come back to themselves he let go of Harley’s hair and she raised up to give him a kiss. When she pulled away from the kiss he looked her over. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks were bright pink, her lipstick was still smeared but now her lips were swollen looking, and her panties were still pulled down around her thighs. She looked thoroughly debauched. He laughed and then kissed her again. She giggled a little and then started trying to compose herself. He remembered that this all started with his intention to talk to her.

“Oh by the way, Harley, you’re fired.” He said while fastening his belt.

“What?” She gave him a shocked look.

“It’s just not going to work out. I realized that today. Now that we’re involved I find myself reacting to you in a particular way and not a way I want to feel when I’m on a job. Thus ends the career of Gotham’s first henchperson.” He straightened his tie and pulled out his phone to text Moe to come back.

“But that’s not fair! I’m a good henchperson and I love doing it. You can’t fire me just because you get turned on when I’m around!” She said in outrage.

“Well I just did. Feel free to sue me for sexual harassment if you like.” The Joker laughed and put his phone away. She crossed her arms and pouted.

“Look it’s your choice, Harls. You can hench for me or you can have whatever it is we have but not both.”

“Fine. I choose love, but you’re going to realize what a mistake you made one of these days. None of these other guys can help you like I do.” She slid over to the far side of the car when Moe got in but then turned her face towards him and stuck her tongue out. She pouted quietly the rest of the way home which was just fine with him.

After the truck heist he spent the next week mostly in his lab working. He finally had all the components for a new gas he was developing. Joker venom was a lot of fun but the same joke got boring after a while. This new gas would cause madness and chaos. It didn’t kill anyone, just made them completely and irrevocably insane. Or he thought it did. He needed to get some test subjects in. The Joker thought of using goons but once you started using them for experiments word got around and help was hard to find. It was strange how willing they were to risk death when it didn’t further the progress of science but you get a little academic on them and suddenly no one wants to work for you. He left his lab for the first time in days to send some henchmen out for test subjects when he heard someone harassing Harley.

“Hey, Harley, you’ve been spending an awful lot of time in the Joker’s room lately. What’s going on there? Trying to get yourself a raise?” The man cackled at what he thought was a clever joke. No one had noticed that the Joker had entered the room until the loud bang sounded as he shot the thug in the head.

“Anyone else want to comment on where Harley spends her time?” He asked the group. No one said anything. “Good. Now I need half a dozen test subjects for my latest invention. No one who’s already crazy but otherwise anything goes. I’m going to be out of the lab for half an hour, if the subjects aren’t waiting for me when I get back then I’m going to ask for volunteers out of this crowd.”

He walked away from the group of henchmen and walked down the hall to his room. He could sense Harley following along behind him but didn’t acknowledge her. He’s been up working every night and hadn’t spent much time with her. Really he’d only seen her when she brought him food in the lab. He had a feeling she wouldn’t be at the top of her ability to control herself so it was better to wait and deal with her behind closed doors. He waited for her to come into his room before he closed the door. Looking at her, the desperation for his touch was rolling off her in waves so he gave her a small nod of permission and she threw herself at him immediately. He indulged her passionate embrace for a few minutes but then started pulling away. He needed a shower and change of clothes before he went back down to the lab.

“Mr. J, it’s been days. I miss you!” She complained.

“I know, pumpkin but I think I’ve got this thing finally perfected. Just a few tests and I’ll be ready to unleash it on Gotham. And just think of what fun it will be!”

“Yeah, fun I’m not allowed to come along for.” Her lips pushed out into a pout.

“Well that’s true but I won’t be spending my nights in the lab anymore, so maybe you’ll have a little fun too.” His teased her with a seductive note in his voice. Her face lit up.

“You mean it? Oh, Puddin’, I can’t wait.” She threw her arms around him again briefly and then let him go. “Well you should probably hurry. You’ve got a big project to finish up! I’ll go make sure the guys went to get you some test subjects.” She ran out of the room and left him laughing at her enthusiasm. He liked being able to pull Harley’s strings. It helped make up for her ability to give his the occasional tug.


	7. Chapter 7

This was taking too long. They should be back by now. Harley knew she shouldn’t worry, the Joker could take care of himself and he’d been terrorizing Gotham for years before she came along but she hated not being with him to make sure he was ok. She decided she couldn’t just keep pacing around the Joker’s bedroom and decided to go and see if there was anything on the news about her Puddin’. She heard a few complaints about changing the channel from the thugs that were watching TV but she ignored them. Soon enough she found a report about the Joker’s latest act of chaos. He’d insisted on trying out his new gas at a police precinct and the reporters couldn’t get close to the building to really show what was going on because the people the Joker had driven insane were all armed and now very dangerous. Great, all they could tell her was that the Joker had gassed a police station and everyone was insane. She knew that already. Where was he?

There was still no new information on the news when she heard the door to the motel’s lobby open. She ran out to the lobby and found Moe and various thugs looking bruised and bloodied. But no Mr. J. Sharp panic shot through her entire body and she felt nauseous. Moe looked up at her and then away. No one had really talked about her relationship with the Joker but they had to all know. Just the way she looked at him had be a dead giveaway. And now they were just going to stand around not saying anything?

“Moe, where’s the Boss?” She finally managed to swallow back her nausea and ask.

“Sorry, Harley. Batman showed up and the Boss didn’t get away. He’s probably on his way to Arkham right about now.” Moe explained.

“How is it the Boss got caught and none of you did?” Harley’s anger was rising fast. She was worried too but right now she was ready to knock some goon heads together.

“He stayed behind to fight the Bat. None of us were going to stick around for that. We got thrown around plenty before we took off let me tell you. You can be pissed if you want but it won’t change anything. You can stay here but the rest of us are packing up. Maybe I’ll see you around when the Boss gets out again.” Moe started walking away.

“What do you mean you’re packing up? You can’t just leave!” She called after him. He turned around and shook his head at her like he felt sorry for her. Oh he’d be sorry alright! She pulled her gun out and fired three shots into the ceiling. Everyone stopped and stared at her, henchmen who weren’t in the lobby came out to see what was happening. When she thought most of the guys were in hearing range she addressed the room.

“Listen up you faithless assholes, no one leaves this fucking motel until I say so. The Boss might not be here but I am and I’ve been paying a whole lot of attention to how he does things. We’re going to get the Boss out of Arkham and that’s final. If any of you take off I’ll hunt you down and treat you just the way the Boss would, and I’ll laugh while I do it, just like he would. Any questions?” She shouted. A hand went up. “What?”

“How are we going to get the Boss out of Arkham?” A goon named Bill asked.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll come up with something. You just do what I tell you, when I tell you. Anyone got a problem with that?” Harley demanded.

No one said anything so she put away the gun and ran to Mr. J’s room. She threw herself on his bed and indulged in a good cry. How was she going to rescue the Joker? Why did he have to fire her in the first place, she could have at least distracted Batman while he got away. Or she thought she could have, she had never actually encountered Batman before, maybe he’d just toss her away and chase down Mr. J anyway. And if he wasn’t going to let her help him, did he have to try out his gas on a police station? They probably had Batman on speed dial. As her tears started to let up she turned her mind from what went wrong to what she could do to set things right. She needed help, there was no way she could figure this out on her own. She’d never even been to Arkham, how was she supposed to know how to break out of it? She thought over the people she knew and wondered if there was any help to be found outside the Joker’s organization.

She had known at couple of professors in her undergrad program who sometimes consulted at Arkham on particular types of cases. That could probably get her a tour of Arkham but not any idea of how to break someone out of it. She thought over her former customers at the Grin and Bare It. Some of them had at times promised her help with their specialties if she ever needed it. While that could get her a discount on a used car or some legal help, no one she’d danced for had ever mentioned being something useful like a security guard at the asylum. As she ran out of her own contacts to consider she began thinking about the people the Joker knew. Most of them had been in Arkham at some point and many of them had escaped from there. And she had met quite a few of them not too long ago. It was a start anyway. She thought it over and decided that her first stop should be to see the Penguin. He had obviously liked her and she thought from the way they interacted that maybe he liked Mr. J as well. As much as anyone who wasn’t her liked him anyway. She carefully chose her clothing and took time with her hair and make-up. She already knew that the Penguin had an eye for attractive women and it couldn’t hurt her chances to appeal to that.

The Iceberg Lounge was busy this late on a weekend night. That actually made things easier for Harley, if she’d shown up in the middle of the afternoon she might not have been let in at all. Now she blended in with the crowd and looked around the club to see if she could find anybody who could get her an audience with Oswald Cobblepot. Well, well, well. Who did she find working security but her old pal Mickey? Once again this guy had a chance to help her out. Maybe Mickey was her guardian angel. A guardian angel who liked shoving money in her G-string while she gyrated on his lap. Or maybe he was the patron saint of strippers. Either way she was definitely going to see Cobblepot tonight, there was no one she could work over like she could work over Mickey. His face lit up as soon as she entered his field of vision.

“Heaven! I can’t believe you’re here! Where have you been? They told me you quit dancing.” Mickey asked her as soon as she was close enough that they could talk.

“I would never just up and quit like that, Mick, they fired me. The boss over there tried to cheat me out of my tips and when I raised a fuss I got the can! But I remembered you worked for Oswald Cobblepot and thought I’d come by and see if you were around. I miss our talks.” She had of course quit the Grin and Bare It with no notice when she was hired by the Joker but she could see Mickey taking that wrong. This story would get him on her side and inclined to do her a favor.

“Wow, really? You came to see me? That’s great! Did you get another job? I’m pretty sure they’re hiring here if you need some work. Probably doesn’t pay as good but I could definitely get you in here.” Oh Mickey, what a guy. When you needed someone to change your fate Mick seemed to be the guy to do it.

“That would be amazing! Do you think I could meet Oswald Cobblepot? That would be a real kick.” She wasn’t playing it subtle, she didn’t have time for subtle. Who knew what they were doing to her Puddin’ in that place?

“Oh sure. He meets all the girls who work here before he hires them. You’d think he’d be too busy but he is always interested in pretty girls. I know you’re used to that sort of thing from the Grin and Bare It. I have a break in a few minutes. I could take you up to his office then.” Mickey offered. She couldn’t help herself, she gave the man a hug. He looked like Christmas came early.

Harley spent the next fifteen minutes idly chatting with Mickey, though mostly just listening to him. It was sort of like it used to be between them except he wasn’t paying her to listen this time. Not in money anyway. If she got a chance to talk to the Penguin, Mickey might even get a kiss on the cheek before the night was over. When he was on break he led her up to the area where Cobblepot’s office was. She figured that if old Ozzie was auditioning the waitresses in his office he was doing a lot more than just meeting them but Mickey seemed somehow to naively believe that he was just bringing her up to meet the boss. It didn’t matter, as soon as she got into the office the Penguin would know who she was and that she wasn’t there to show him how well she could serve his needs.

“Go on in, Heaven. When I told him about you he was real excited. I’m gonna go have a smoke but come find me after.” Mickey said as he exited Cobblepot’s office.

“Sure thing, Mick. Thanks for this.” She gave him a little wave as he left her to enter the office. She walked in and found the Penguin watching the door with anticipation.

“Well, Mickey certainly did not exaggerate your loveliness! But I feel like I know you, don’t I? Oh yes, you came to my party, with the Joker no less. Are you here to take me up on my offer of a position in my organization? I did hear that the Joker had returned to captivity.” Oswald said as she made her way towards the chair in front of his desk.

“No, Mr. Cobblepot. I’m not actually looking for a job. I’m afraid that was a bit of a lie but I didn’t know how else to get back to see you. The truth is I need your help.” Harley used every feminine wile she could manage from letting her skirt ride up too high when she sat down to letting her lip quiver a little as the beginning of tears formed in her eyes.

“Well I’m sure we can come to some arrangement. What exactly is it that you need my help with, my dear?” He leered at her when he spoke.

“I’m busting the Joker out of Arkham but I need help planning it. I have the man power and most of the Joker’s tricks of the trade. I just don’t know how to get in and out of the place. Do you know someone who could help me?” She batted her lashes at him and flipped her hair. Again, subtlety had no place in her agenda.

“Well I can’t do much for you myself. I’ve never been to Arkham though I certainly have a lot of contacts who have. I’m wondering if I do help you, what would be in it for me?” He was not real committed to subtle tonight either.

“Well I’m sure my Mr. J would be real grateful and I would be too. You do realize I’m the Joker’s girl right? I know he likes to keep things private but I think he wouldn’t mind you knowing.” She hoped bringing the Joker’s possible possessiveness into play was enough to get her what she needed without her having to do something to earn the information. Not that she would sleep with Cobblepot, but she hated to think about the things she would be willing to do if it helped her rescue Mr. J. She’d thought her days of grinding up against lecherous old men were over.

“The Joker’s girl? You’ll pardon me if I find that hard to believe. I’ve known the Joker a long time and he’s never shown much interest in romance.”

“Well sometimes something comes along you just can’t resist I guess. If you don’t believe me I’m sure you have the resources to check my story out. Any goon back at the Joker’s hideout can tell you whose room I sleep in. You could probably get someone into Arkham to ask Mr. J himself. Do what you need to but do it quick, please. I hate to think of him spending one more minute in that place.” She let a tear slip down her cheek. It was not entirely an act. She really was desperate to get her Puddin’ back.

“Hmm, there have been rumors ever since that night at the party. You must be quite something, I’d really like to find out for myself but if what you say is true it’s probably best I don’t. The Joker never has been very good at sharing his toys.” He pulled a piece of paper off a pad on his desk and wrote something down. He slid it across to her.

“This is where you can find Poison Ivy. She may or may not help you but she’s out of Arkham due to her own efforts at the moment. She’s as good a person to ask as any and she’s unlikely to do anything to you that will send the Joker on a murder spree. I say unlikely, that’s not the same as won’t do anything. Be careful. I know you’ve spent a lot of time with the Joker but there are people in this town who are dangerous in ways you might not expect.”

“Thanks, Mr. Cobblepot. I really appreciate it.” She took the information and left before he could change his mind about getting some payment for it.

She was surprised to see that the paper didn’t have an address or phone number but instead some rather cryptic directions. Harley decided that even though it was pretty late she’d rather just get in contact with Poison Ivy as quickly as possible. Villains kept late hours in her experience so she followed the directions as well as she could. The ending spot was a dirt trail off the highway that led to what looked like a forbidding-looking forest. She hesitated to turn onto it. It seemed like the sort of road that led to an axe murderer’s cabin retreat in a horror movie. It was clear after driving a down the road a bit that there was some sort of building, a house maybe, at the end. She felt a little surer of herself until the road was blocked by bushes and trees and she had to get out of the car. Harley was reminded of the scene in Snow White where the forest seems alive and nightmarish. As she pushed her way through trees and brush it felt like the branches were grabbing at her and trying to hold her back. And most disturbing of all, she felt like they were watching her. Like they were alive, no of course they were alive, she felt like they were aware.

When she finally got through the forest and near the house she had seen earlier from the road, her suspicions that there was something weird about the trees was confirmed. Before she could approach the door to the house in front of her vines reached out and wrapped themselves around her arms and legs. She pulled and struggled to get away but they only tightened around her. She stopped moving and tried to think of what she should do next when the door to the house opened. The red headed woman she’d met previously stepped out wearing a robe and looking angry.

“I was asleep! It’s almost two o’clock in the morning you know. Some of us have to be awake when the sun is out. We don’t all run around in the middle of the night, that’s a villain stereotype.” Ivy complained.

“Sorry! I didn’t think, I just really needed your help badly on something that couldn’t wait. Any chance you could do something about the vines?” Harley asked, trying to keep her voice friendly despite her annoyance at finding herself trapped by plants. Poison Ivy sighed and her face changed from angry to annoyed but the vines loosened around Harley and she was able to get away from them.

“I suppose you might as well come in now that I’m up.” Ivy said as she turned and walked back into her house.

“Thanks, Ivy. I promise not to take up much of your time. I’m in kind of a hurry anyway. Uh, nice place.” Harley said while following behind Ivy. The inside looked more like a greenhouse than an actual house. There were plants everywhere and they gave Harley that same weird feeling of being watched that the ones in the forest outside had.

“Do you want some tea?” Ivy offered when they got to her kitchen. Was eating or drinking anything Poison Ivy gave you a good idea? Seeing her hesitation, Ivy Said, “It’s safe, I promise. If I wanted to poison you I would have done it outside. Less clean up afterward.”

Harley smiled, “Ok, thanks, I’d love some tea. It’s nice to be in a kitchen that has something other than beer in it. I live with a bunch of goons, no one ever offers me tea.”

“I would have thought you could change all that if you wanted to. You seem like a girl who understands that men are here for us to manipulate into doing what we say.”

“I guess. I mean yeah, I’ve manipulated a goon or two but we aren’t quite to the point of having tea parties.” Harley realized she had been limiting herself. Ivy was pretty smart. Maybe they could be friends.

“So why are you here and please don’t tell me it has something to do with the Joker.” Ivy asked as she sat a cup of tea in front of Harley and then sat down with her own tea across the table from her.

“Sorry?” Harley offered with a shrug. “It does have to do with the Joker. I know you don’t like him, a lot of people don’t like him but he’s in Arkham and I’m getting him out. I need help figuring out how to do that. The Penguin told me he thought you’d be the right person to talk to. Can you help me? I’d owe you one.”

It was dangerous to owe favors to villains and the cunning look that crossed Ivy’s face reinforced that in Harley’s mind. “I think I’d like having you owe me one. Ok, I’ll help. But you have to do something else for me too. I want a sample of the gas the Joker used on the police station.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I want to get Mr. J out but he might kill me if I give you some of his newest invention. He’s worked so hard on it and hardly got to use it at all.” Would it still be worth getting him out of Arkham if he just ended up killing her for what she’d had to do to get him out?

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal his pathetic little creation. I have half a dozen plants at my disposal that can cause madness and hallucinations. I just want to analyze it to be sure I’m immune to it. The Joker would just love to come up with something that affected me, he’s still annoyed his Joker venom doesn’t.”

“I guess that would be ok. But do you think maybe we could not tell Mr. J that I gave it to you? He might not be too understanding if he found out.” Harley had a feeling this was going to end up being a mistake that she would pay for later but she didn’t know what else to do.

“Don’t worry, the Joker and I don’t get together and share secrets. I’ll give you a map that will get you in and show you how to get past the lock on his cell. After that I’m sure the Joker will probably want to go out in the most dramatic way possible so you shouldn’t have any trouble with the escape. Just make sure you cover your tracks on the way in and don’t tell the Joker how you got in, I don’t want anyone figuring out that I have a door in and out of the place. I don’t have any reason to kill you but if you ruin my set up you won’t give me any choice.” Ivy warned her.

“Ok, I sneak in and then forget I ever knew about it. Don’t worry, I just want Mr. J back, I’ll be careful.” Harley promised. Ivy left her in the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with a printed out map and instructions.

“Oh and make sure you are careful with the bushes that hide the path for me. Don’t trample them or anything.”

“Got it. No trampling plants, no getting caught and exposing your secret route, no telling the Joker about it. Thank you so much for this!” Harley couldn’t help herself, she quickly hugged Ivy before she left. Poison Ivy looked surprised but then smiled at her.

“I don’t know what you see in him but good luck with your rescue.”

Harley waved at her and headed back into the woods. The trees still seemed to watch her but they didn’t touch her and they felt less hostile. Maybe it was because she was leaving. When she got to the car she let out a little sigh of relief. She didn’t have the Joker out yet but she had dealt with two of Gotham’s most notorious villains and had come out alive. Now she just had to organize the Joker’s pack of no-good, yellow-bellied thugs and get them to help her ride to the rescue. Then they had to figure out a way out of Arkham but if the nightly news was any indication that shouldn’t be much of a challenge, especially if she brought some of the Joker’s inventions along with her. She knew it wasn’t true but she almost felt like the hard part was over now that she had a plan. The rest would be a piece of cake. Cake that relied on a map she had received from a criminally insane woman and the support of a bunch of goons who had tried to run away only a couple of hours ago. Harley refused to be discouraged, she was going to get her man back.


	8. Chapter 8

There was nothing worse after going a few rounds with Batman than being stuck in a cell at Arkham. He had all this manic energy coursing through his body and absolutely nothing to do with it. He channeled it into a mad fit of laughter but it was the middle of the night so that led to sedation. It took a lot to sedate the Joker but Arkham knew that all too well, he was a frequent visitor. They didn’t sedate him enough to knock him out but all he could do was lie on his cot and watch the world spin around him. He still managed the occasional chuckle, refusing to let them take his laughter away completely. Nighttime in an asylum wasn’t what could be described as calm and quiet anyway. He could hear various moans and screams coming from the cells nearby.

He hadn’t exactly planned to go to Arkham tonight but he wasn’t sorry to have the chance to see what Harley would do while he was away. He knew what the goons would do, they’d run for the hills. Harley wouldn’t run off. He could imagine her crying her eyes out at the hideout waiting for him to come back. What a disappointment that would be, he wouldn’t want her after that, it was too pathetic. She had a lot of fight in her, he wouldn’t have kept her around if she didn’t. The question was what would she do with that fight? He couldn’t wait to find out.

Time slipped and drifted for him while the sedative was in his system. He never quite went to sleep and never really felt alert. By morning he was starting to feel like himself again though the room occasionally seemed to slide around on him. He got up and went to the barred door of his cell and looked across the hall to see who he could find to annoy. Oh goody, goody; Jonathan Crane. An easy and amusing target with the extra bonus of being completely toothless when it came to the Joker. When your entire villainy repertoire was based on instilling fear you could never gain the respect of a man with no fear. And Dr. Jonathan Crane wanted so badly to be respected. Particularly by the other villains in Gotham.

For the first time he contemplated the fact that the Scarecrow had been a doctor here at this asylum once upon a time before he’d completely lost his mind. What if Harley had gotten into the schools she’d applied to and become a psychologist here? Would she have stayed on the path of sanity or would something have come along and pushed her into madness? Did she even realize that she was what most people would consider insane now? Maybe later tonight he’d indulge the fantasy of playing doctor with Harley in a therapy session. He could just imagine her in a white coat, modest clothing to cover up her distracting body. Asking him the inane questions therapists always did while fighting her own growing desire for him. That idea was starting to get a little too stimulating, he shifted his focus back to the cell across from his.

“Scarecrow. Oh Scaaaarecrow.” He called across the hall to get the man’s attention. When Dr. Crane looked up the Joker gave him a nice friendly smile. “Looks like we’re in stir together. What’d they get you for this time? Jumping out of alleys and scaring little old ladies?”

“Shut up, Joker.” Was the only reply the Joker got. It made him laugh anyway.

“You know I was reminded of you just the other day. Now what was it that made me think of you? Oh yes, now I remember. I was killing a guy, I think I was using a crowbar, and this guy was just petrified with fear. Shaking, teeth chattering, wetting himself. Just drowning in his fear of me and I couldn’t help but think, ‘Boy, I just bet old Dr. Crane would give anything to be able to scare someone like this. Without any of his scaredy cat gas.’ Was I right, Scarecrow? Would you give anything to actually be scary?”

“Well you do have an unfair advantage. In my research I’ve found coulrophobia to be a very common condition. Still it’s not a recognized disorder in the DSM-5 so you’ll pardon me if I don’t take you very seriously.” Crane replied. The Joker laughed at the man’s attempt to dismiss him.

“No, it shouldn’t be considered a disorder, it makes perfect sense. You should be afraid of clowns, Crane. Very afraid. We’re certainly scarier than academics with burlap sacks over their heads.” Crane didn’t say anything in response to his insult but instead moved further into his cell and turned his back on the Joker. So much for socializing with the neighbors.

He returned to his cot and laid back with his legs crossed and his arms behind his head. He felt fairly certain that this trip to Arkham wouldn’t involve any electroshock therapy, not after what happened to the last doctor that used it on him. So that meant his biggest challenge was the absolute lack of anything interesting happening. He would just have to find some ways to make things happen. He always had an eye open for an opportunity to escape of course but also for little circumstances he could push into something entertaining. He’d let Crane sulk in his corner for a while before he started in on him again. On his last stay he’d eventually gotten the inmate across the hall to bash his own skull in, all in effort of getting away from the Joker’s words and laughter. That had been a real good time. If he could get Crane to cause bodily harm to himself it would almost be worth being back here.

At some point while considering possible options for his next verbal sparring session with the Scarecrow, the Joker fell asleep. He woke up to the sound of something that shouldn’t have been there. Something or someone was in the ceiling. He could hear the sound of whatever it was crawling through the duct work. How very very interesting! Always quick to take advantage of anything that could lead to fun he jumped out of his bed and followed the sound as it made its way across the length of his cell. Eventually it was past his ceiling and on to the next but he could still sort of hear it. He felt a jolt of excitement go through him. Whatever was in there was not supposed to be, that could only lead to something entertaining.

He considered the possibility that it was someone escaping but the sound was going deeper into the asylum rather than out toward freedom. He knew the layout of this place pretty well, he should by now. So that meant someone or something was coming in. And since Arkham didn’t generally have a lot of things crawling through the duct work he had to assume it was a someone. It crossed his mind that perhaps someone was trying to bust someone else out of the place. He went back to the door of his cell. He needed a little information.

“Crane! Stop your pouting and answer me, it’s important.” The Joker called to the Scarecrow. The man didn’t reply.

“Crane!” He called in his most menacing voice. After only another few seconds Jonathan Crane appeared at the barred door of his cell.

“What now?” The former doctor asked.

“How long have you been in this time?”

“A month so far, why?”

“Who else is in, not regular crazies, are there any other big names in right now?”

“No, just you and me as far as I know.” Crane replied.

“So just me then? That is very good to know. Thanks for the help, Doctor. Oh and good news, I don’t think we’ll be talking again any time soon so enjoy the rest of your stay without me.” The Joker was on full alert now. Whoever was coming was almost certainly coming for him and he thought he had an idea of just who would be small enough to be crawling through the ducts in Arkham asylum.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you busting out already? Take me with you, I’ll figure out some way to pay you back.” Crane pleaded. That was tempting. Having a little toad like Crane owing him? Very tempting but no. It would be much more fun to watch the man’s face as he walked out of Arkham after only one night in. That was a record for his shortest stay so far.

“Sure Scarecrow, I’ll take you with me. You just hold your breath and wait while I come and get you.” The Joker laughed and turned his head to see if he could see anyone coming down the hall.

He didn’t know where his rescuer was planning to exit the ceiling but he assumed something would be happening soon. And within a few minutes he thought he saw a blur of black and red coming down the hall. Finally the blur stopped in the middle of the hall between his and Crane’s cells and looked back and forth into them. With the cessation of motion he saw that as he had suspected his rescuer was indeed Harley Quinn, dressed in an adorable skin tight little black and red number. As she turned to him he could see her outfit had diamonds on it, she had turned herself into his very own little Harlequin. What a good joke!

“Puddin’!” Harley squeaked excitedly and ran up to his cell door.

She looked at him and then the barred door. Harley got a determined look on her face, like heaven was on the other side of the barrier in front of her and she was damn well going to get through it. She had a bag with her and she dug through it for some type of tool and a piece of paper. With her little pink tongue poking out of one side of her mouth she went to work on the electronic locking mechanism of his cell. When it didn’t unlock after her first attempt she pounded on it in frustration and then looked back at her sheet of paper. She tried whatever it was the paper was telling her to do again and then his door slid open. Before he could step out she had thrown her arms around him and was kissing him like she hadn’t seen him in a year rather than a day. He felt an annoying sense of self-consciousness at having this woman throw herself at him like this and looked around to see if they had an audience. They did but he noticed it was an audience that was looking on in envy. And why not, the skin tight outfit Harley was wearing showed off every perfect curve. Deciding to play to the crowd he wrapped his arms around her and pivoted her body into a romantic looking dip while they continued to kiss passionately. He could barely keep from laughing at the look Crane was giving them.

He pulled her up and broke their kiss as his ears detected the sound of what must have been security finally realizing that someone had broken in. Harley opened her bag again and handed him a gun and grabbed one for herself. He wasn’t sure that was going to be enough to get them out of the wing much rather the asylum when she handed him a gas mask to put on. Looked like Harley had brought along some of his other toys to play with. He pulled her bag toward himself and looked inside, there were two smoke bombs with his newest creation in them. He gave Harley another quick kiss.

“You did a very good job with this, Harley.” If they weren’t in the middle of a break out he suspected she’d be doing cartwheels around him, her face was glowing with joy at his words of praise.

“Hey, Scarecrow? I want you to check out my latest invention, I think you’ll go crazy for it.” The Joker told Crane while laughing.

They both put on their gas masks and he pulled the pin on one of his bombs and tossed it into the center of the hallway. The inmates in the cells all started trying to cover their mouths and noses in an attempt to keep from breathing in what was floating up from the detonated smoke bomb but it was no use. Within seconds people were pulling at their hair, screaming and banging their heads on the wall. Everyone was losing their minds over his great joke. The Joker laughed hysterically while Harley pulled on his arm and tried to lead him out of the wing. He finally got control of himself enough to leave with her. They shot their way out, saving the other smoke bomb as a last resort if they needed it. They were nearly out of the asylum when he found himself wondering how well Harley had planned this little escape. How exactly were they getting away from Arkham once they were out?

The question was answered for him when they exited the building and found a group of his henchmen at the end of a shootout with Arkham’s security team. Dead uniformed Arkham employees lay all over the ground and a large van was waiting just inside the gate. He looked at Harley, she was kicking a guard in the face and then fired a shot at another. What had he ever done to deserve this? Was this the reward for bringing chaos and destruction upon the world? A beautiful woman who was not only obsessed with him but was determined to make him proud with everything she did? Planning Arkham escapes, wrangling goons and committing atrocious acts of violence, was it possible he’d dreamed her up? He couldn’t help himself, he had to laugh at what a wonderful joke it all was.

When everyone who worked for Arkham was either dead or hiding, the Joker’s gang climbed back into their van and Harley pulled him into it with her while he continued laughing at it all. Once they were securely inside and the van was on the move, Harley started pawing at him like she was checking to make sure he was all there and uninjured. Again he was annoyed at her acting as though he’d just spent a year at a hard labor camp instead of one sedated night on a cot so he pushed her away. She wasn’t easily dissuaded when it came to touching him and instead climbed into his lap and tried to kiss him. Even though he was pleased with how well she had done at getting him out of the asylum he was not happy with how aggressively affectionate she was being, especially in front of his henchmen, so this time he pushed her hard enough she fell onto the floor of the van. Finally getting the picture she sat back on the opposite side of the bench seat and just looked at him longingly.

“I appreciate the break out but you aren’t doing a very good job at controlling yourself now. This is why I had to fire you in the first place.” He reminded her. Her face went from longing to anger immediately.

“If you hadn’t fired me I wouldn’t have had to break you out, I wouldn’t have let you get caught in the first place. I don’t make mistakes like that.” She snapped at him. He lunged across the seat at her and grabbed her throat, banging the back of her head against the wall of the van as he did.

“Are you implying that you are somehow more skilled at villainy than I am, Harley? I can give you a very extensive demonstration that will prove you are wrong.” He glared at her and watched her shake her head quickly, her face full of fear for just a moment before she relaxed into a submissive calmness. Seeing her acknowledgement of his dominance cooled his anger a bit.

“Besides, who said it was a mistake to go to Arkham? It gave you a chance to prove yourself, didn’t it?” He asked as he let go of her neck and settled back into his seat.

“Really, Puddin’? Did I prove myself? Can I work with you again?” She asked excitedly.

“I think so, you impressed me today. But not as a henchperson, I can’t be involved with a hench.”

“Does that mean I can be your partner in crime?” She squealed with delight. It was clear that it took everything she had not to leap into his lap but she managed to stop herself at just moving to sit next to him.

“No, not a partner in crime. You can be my sidekick. If Batman can have one then I can too.” He declared. Her face fell a little at the offered job title. He reached out and pulled her into his lap, she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and her delighted smile returned.

“There are all sorts of rumors going around about Batman and his relationship with the teenage boys he has as sidekicks. If he can put up with the gossip, then I can too.” He kissed her and heard her let out a little squeak when his lips met hers. He thought about the snide comments villains liked to make about the vigilante and his Robins and compared it to the idea of the Joker terrorizing Gotham with a beautiful blond fawning over him. It was just too funny. This world was so full of good jokes and the very best ones were at Batman’s expense.


	9. Chapter 9

Her rescue of the Joker had gone off without a hitch. Well, the ducts in Arkham had been dirtier than she’d anticipated and she had broken a nail prying off the grate that gave her access to them but otherwise it was a perfectly executed plan. And not only had she gotten Mr. J back, she’d also gotten promoted to partner in crime. Ok, sidekick actually but she preferred partner in crime. It seemed more reflective of not only her help in their criminal pursuits but her now officially recognized status as his girl. As much as she liked that he had accepted being with her and having her work with him what she really wanted was for him to consummate the relationship.

They’d gotten each other off a few times but they hadn’t actually had what she would consider sex. Despite the other things they had done he hadn’t fucked her. She was preparing herself to manipulate that into happening. After they got back to the hideout she had gone to take a shower, she had felt so covered in dust and cobwebs from her trip through the Arkham duct work. Now she was looking over her extensive wardrobe of what could best be described as stripper wear. No, exotic dancewear; that’s what the store she’d bought most of it at had called it. It all seemed so obvious, so tacky. Ultimately she decided on a sheer red negligee. It wasn’t something she had ever worn to dance at the Grin and Bare It, she didn’t want to wear the same lingerie with Mr. J that she’d worn while grinding on some lonely accountant’s lap.

When Harley walked into the Joker’s room she found him at his desk apparently plotting some new scheme against the city of Gotham. He had changed out of his Arkham issued clothes and into a purple suit. It was like he’d never been gone. Except he had been gone and she had missed him, even if it was only one day. He hadn’t really done much beyond kissing her since that day more than a week ago in the back of the car. And she did a great job of getting him out of the asylum, she couldn’t help but feel she was owed something. That something had better be a roll in the hay with her Puddin’! When he didn’t react to her entering the room she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. Still nothing.

“Mr. J? I was hoping that maybe we could spend some time together?” She asked tentatively. She knew that this whole agreement to be involved with her was contingent on her executing some control over her desire for him but there was control and then there was deprivation.

“Not now, Harley. I’m busy.” He said dismissively. She started to leave him alone but then she felt her anger flare up at being rejected after everything she’d been through in the last twenty four hours for him. She found herself pushing the pile of papers sitting in front of the Joker off the table and onto the floor. She immediately regretted her actions but at least now Mr. J was looking at her. She just wished he wasn’t looking at her like that.

“Harley, that was very childish of you and now you’ve made Daddy very angry.” He struck fast, like a snake, reaching out and grabbing her arm before she could move out of his way.

His face was cruel and she was more than a little afraid of what was going to happen next. He jerked her arm forward and she fell across his lap. Before she could get up he brought his hand down on her ass. Hard. Pissed off villain hard. She kicked her legs and tried to wiggle off his lap but he still had a vice-like grip on one arm and struck her again just as hard. Her flesh burned and throbbed but she was surprised to feel her clit throbbing as well. She’d played at spanking on stage with other dancers before but it was more of pantomime than a sex act. No one had ever really hit her before so she had no way of knowing how it would affect her. She felt her face get warm and knew she was blushing. The Joker whacked her again and now that she was relaxed across his legs the force of his blow pushed her body forward slightly, providing a little friction for her clit as her body shifted forward and back. She stopped thinking about how much it was going to hurt when he hit her and focused on the burst of pleasure she got with each small bit of stimulation her clit got.

“If you’re going to act like a brat I’m going to have to treat you like one, Harley.” The Joker scolded her as her spanking continued. She didn’t answer him, she just moaned as she felt another sharp spike of desire hit her. “Now what do you have to say for your behavior?”

She knew he was expecting an answer and though it took her a few seconds to focus enough to speak she finally managed an, “I’m sorry.”

“Try again, Harls. This time try showing a little respect.” He brought his hand down again and she felt herself getting closer to coming. Just a few more swats and she was pretty sure she’d climax.

“I’m sorry, Mr. J.” She said with a moan. So close, just a little more.

“No, say I’m sorry, Daddy.” Oh god, a burst of pleasure so intense it was almost painful twisted within her. She had never cared much for the idea of using the term ‘Daddy’ in a sexual situation. It just didn’t appeal to her. Until now.

She was panting and gasping and wasn’t sure she’d be able to say anything at all. Finally she took in a deep breath and pushed the sentence out quickly.

“I’m sorry, Daddy!”

As soon as she finished saying it she felt the first spasms of her orgasm. She curled her body around the Joker’s legs and cried out with pleasure. He stopped smacking her and let her surrender entirely to ecstasy. When she started calming down she looked up at Mr. J and found him looking at her with a sort of cruel glee. He’d liked making her come from spanking her. That was good, she’d liked it too. She wanted to try arousing him into having sex with her but she felt a little timid. He’d managed to spank the brattiness out of her for the moment. He jerked her arm up and she stumbled as she tried to stand on her now wobbly legs. He stood up as well and dragged her over to his bed. He threw her onto the bed and looked down at her.

“You’ve been working so hard at getting me to fuck you. You know what they say, Harls, be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.”

He stared down at her while he started loosening his tie. He looked like he was going to tear her apart. She felt a cold chill pass over her, was she afraid now that she was getting what she wanted? She tried scooting back on the bed to get further away from him and felt a burning ache from where he had bruised her skin during her spanking. The pain flooded her brain with memories of the pleasure she’d just experienced and her fear left her completely. He was probably going to hurt her again and she was probably going to love it. While he undressed in front of her she pulled her negligee over her head and tossed it aside. She got up on her knees and tried to help him unbutton his shirt but he slapped her hands away so she did her best to wait patiently. Unfortunately her best wasn’t very good and she fidgeted and bounced around in anticipation. The more she did, the slower he seemed to go and when he started laughing at her she looked up at him and stuck her tongue out.

“Apparently you haven’t had enough discipline for one night.” He observed, his voice sounded amused by her antics. That made her happy and she forgot her irritation with his slow undressing and got back up on her knees so she could kiss him. He indulged her for a minute and then shoved her hard so she fell back down on the bed and winced at the pain from her bruises.

“Poor baby, did Daddy hurt his little pumpkin pie?” He asked her, his voice full of false concern and he followed his question with a cruel chuckle.

He joined her on the bed and grabbed her by the throat, pulling her into another kiss. She sighed with pleasure and happily surrendered to his aggressive kiss. All of his touches seemed bruising today. All of his bruises seemed touching today, her brain looped the thought back at her and she giggled at her own foolishness. He let go of her throat and pushed her arms above her head, pinning her wrists together in his strong grip. She didn’t try to get free but she knew she wouldn’t have been able to anyway. That was ok, there was nowhere she’d rather be. His other hand pinched and pulled at her nipples while his kiss transformed into a series of bites on her lips and chin and throat. At first they were more like nips but soon he was biting hard enough she knew she’d have visible bite marks for a few days. That gave her a warm happy feeling.

His hand finally moved between her legs and he slid his fingers from her wet opening up to her clit. She opened her legs further for him and hoped that his touch would remain gentle but unsurprisingly it didn’t. As soon as he’d spread her wetness around he started tugging her clit with his fingers. She yelped at the first rough pull of the sensitive flesh but as his slippery fingers tugged at her again and again she found the pain coupled with the pleasure was getting her hotter than even his spanking her had. She felt her excitement growing but the pain was keeping her orgasm in check. She wanted the feeling to go on forever. Trembling on the edge of coming but not falling over, it was torture and bliss. So of course he stopped.

Before she could protest he rammed the entire length of his cock into her in one hard thrust. Harley couldn’t stop her scream as her body struggled and failed to accommodate his size painlessly. He pulled out completely and thrust in again but this time her body was ready for it and it didn’t hurt. By the third forceful push into her pussy she was not just ready but greedily anticipating him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and used her strong thighs to keep him from pulling all the way out again. She wanted him to stop playing around and make her come. He had other ideas and slapped her ass hard. The impact on her bruised flesh distracted her from her desire for an orgasm and she looked up at him to see if he was angry.

“Harley, you really do need to learn a lesson about who is in charge here. Pay attention now or the next lesson will actually hurt.” He informed her with a laugh. He’d already hurt her plenty but by the Joker’s standards it was gentle fun she supposed. She wasn’t bleeding and there wasn’t a crowbar involved. She nodded at him to indicate that she understood the threat.

Mr. J moved out of her and let go of her wrists. He pushed her knees up close to her chest, gripping her legs with his usual bruising strength. He started fucking her again, this time thrusting hard and fast but not slamming into her like before. Of course now he wasn’t coming in contact with her clit at all and she was in the same state of frustration she’d been in before. She knew better than to try and take control again and gave into being overwhelmed by the Joker. And he did overwhelm her, her body ached and burned everywhere from his bites, slaps and groping of her flesh. She was going to be a mess of finger shaped bruises for days. Her hand slipped down to rub her clit at the thought.

“Giving Daddy a little show are we, Harls?” She opened her eyes and looked into the Joker’s face. She didn’t break eye contact with him as she slid her fingers back and forth over her clit. When her orgasm hit she did her best to keep watching him but eventually the pleasure was too intense and she had to throw her head back and scream out the rest of her climax. Mr. J pushed her legs wider apart and thrust into her until he was groaning out his own release.

“Happy now, Harley?” The Joker asked her as he pulled out of her body. She was too blissed out to answer but gave him a silly smile instead.

“Good, now maybe I can get some work done.” He got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. She heard the shower running and realized that he really was just going to go back to his work. She was too happy to care and snuggled up in his bed to drift off into a contented sleep.

When Harley woke up many hours later she saw the Joker seated at his desk, hunched over whatever plans he was working on. She knew it would be a mistake to bother him now, not after all the attention he’d already given her. Still she could feel the desire for him stirring up again. She decided it was probably best for her to get up and leave the room before she couldn’t help but try to seduce him. When she sat up every part of her ached. Loving the Joker was going to hurt, there would probably always be pain, but it was the sweetest ache she’d ever known.

Harley drifted out of the Joker’s room on a cloud of satisfied bliss. She had a feeling it would be a while before he indulged her needs again but for the moment she was as happy as could be. She wandered out into the lobby of the motel and noticed a plant sitting on a table. It wasn’t a remarkable plant in any way. Just a bunch of green leaves, no flowers at all but the fact that it was here in the lobby of the motel was remarkable. She had never seen any of the goons display any ability or desire to keep a weed alive much less a houseplant. There were several thugs playing cards in one corner of the room, Harley shouted across the room to them.

“Hey, where’d this plant come from, guys?”

They all took turns shrugging and looking uninterested in her question until they had returned to their game. Moe came out of the kitchen and walked over to her.

“It’s for you, there’s a card. Don’t know who it’s from though.” He informed her. She poked around in the trailing green leaves until she found a small white card with her name printed on one side. She turned it over and read what was written on the other side. “Don’t forget, you owe me one.”

She realized immediately who it was from. Poison Ivy. It was a reminder that someday soon the villainess was going to collect on her debt. Harley furrowed her brow and bit her bottom lip as she felt a sense of dread at what would happen when Mr. J found out about her obligation to someone he didn’t seem to get along with. He’d be angry. Really angry. Maybe angry enough to punish her? Her mouth curled into a wicked grin. No time like the present to find out. She picked the plant up and started walking back down the hall to the Joker’s room.

Harley sang out cheerfully as she approached his door, “Daddy, I’ve got something to tell you and I don’t think you’re going to like it. It might be time to teach me another lesson!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you thought in the comments!


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